


Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?

by HeartEyesTurner



Category: Arctic Monkeys
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:07:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23909683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartEyesTurner/pseuds/HeartEyesTurner
Summary: Best friends to lovers; what more could you ask for?
Relationships: Alex Turner (Musician)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

3:21 AM

**A: You up?**

Paige looked at the text on her phone and sighed, rolling her eyes. It was Alex. Of course it was Alex. There wouldn’t be anyone else texting her this late, or well, this early in the morning. She decided not to respond, switched it to vibrate and tossed it onto the couch seat beside her. Moments later, the screen lit up again, vibrating the couch. Squeezing her eyes shut tight, she took a deep breath, trying to keep her cool. It vibrated again.

“Fuck, is he relentless.” She growled, snatching her phone and sliding her thumb along the numbers of her passcode.  
  
3:45 AM

**A: Where are you?**

**A: I wanna see you.**

**A: Why no answer?**

**A: Text me so I know you’re ok.**

Paige’s heart skipped a little; like that feeling you get when you miss the last step on the stairs. She immediately hated herself for having that kind of reaction to his text; she already knew what this was about. Question was; was she up for playing along?

**P: I’m ok.**

She did it. Ugh. This was a bad idea.

 **A: …**  
  
The ellipses. He was coherent enough to reply, so she waited.

**A: I’m outside.**

Her eyes widened as she ran to the window, throwing it open and sticking her head out as far as she could to see the front door of the building. There was no one there. This just meant one thing; he wasn’t where he thought he was.

//

Friday / 3:21 AM

It was a top night so far. Alex and the other lads were enjoying themselves at one of the local pubs downtown, celebrating them being home or something. He couldn’t remember what they were celebrating actually. Hell, maybe they weren’t celebrating anything.

He laughed at something Matt said, kind of involved in the conversation but not really. Alex couldn’t be trusted to stay focused after imbibing so much liquor.  
He also couldn’t stop thinking of her. 

It always happened like this. 

Finding his phone tucked away in the breast pocket of his jacket, he scrolled through the names in his contacts. Paige.  
  
 **A: You up?**

Alex clapped Matt on the back and stumbled his way towards the men’s room. He felt perfect. Wonderful to be exact. Perfectly wonderful. The mirror above the only sink was cracked through the middle… or was that his imagination? He ran his fingers over it, feeling the split. He smirked confidently at his reflection, popping the collar on his leather jacket. 

“Like antennae.” He murmured to himself, amused by the clever reference to his own lyrics. 

His face turned into three faces suddenly, and he wobbled back on his boot heels a bit. Shaking his head, he headed back to the bar where the boys were waiting for him, more shots lined up on the counter.

He grabbed the black support beam and swung around it, grabbing Matt’s shoulder again. “Yeah.”

“You do want another one.” Nick nodded, and handed him a shot glass full of clear liquid and the four of them clinked their glasses together before knocking them back. They then proceeded to chase that one with two more.  
Alex leaned over, coughing, his lungs and chest feeling like they were completely on fire. Retrieving his phone from his pocket, his glanced at the screen once again, then back over at the clock. It looked like it was melting, sort of like those clocks in the Dali paintings. 

_The Resistance of Time?_ He thought to himself. _No, no… that’s not right. PERSISTENCE! Persistence of Time. Dali; you were a genius you mother fucker, you._

He shook his head, and started for the exit. Just as he was leaving, he thought he saw Paige in the corner snogging some ugly bloke. He sneered and headed outside into the cool night.

  
3:54 AM

**A: Where are you?**

Alex was on a mission, stumbling his way down the sidewalk in search of her. He knew he couldn’t be too far from where she lived. He knew this because they’d come to this little pub a number of times for a few pints. A few pints and a few sloppy, drunk kisses. He smiled stupidly at the memories. She was always the best to make out with. And cuddle with as well. He liked cuddling with her. It hadn’t happened for some time though and he instantly felt down about that. As a matter-of-fact, he honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen her.

3:56 AM

**A: I wanna see you.**

Really seen her. Not like the mirages of her that kept cropping up along his little jaunt. Christ, how much ‘ave I ‘ad?

4:02 AM

**A: Why no answer?**

Slicking his hair back on the side, he wandered the streets spotting all sorts of strange things. A taxi rounded the corner and he waved it down, peering in the window when he thought he saw Paige giving the bloke a blow job. The driver flicked him off and kept going.

He passed another two blocks and thought he saw her getting fucked against a brick wall in a dark alley. What the ‘ell is wrong with meh? He squeezed his eyes shut tight, and opened them on the street spinning out before him. His eyes went double and he tripped, losing his step and falling face first on the pavement.

“Fuck me.” He muttered drunkenly, feeling as if he were melting into the sidewalk. Closing his eyes dreamily, he imagined falling face first into Paige’s bed with the cozy comforter and the soft pillows.

“Get up yeh prick!” Some angry homeless man shouted at him from the darkened doorstep and Alex scrambled to his feet.

Glancing back at him over his shoulder, he hurried away and checked his phone again. Still no response.

4:37 AM  
  
 **A: Text me so I know you’re ok.**

He heard motorcycles rumbling up the strip and he turned his head as they came up beside him. _’ang on… were that her on the back of that motorbike naked?_

Alex shook his head again, trying to shake the bad images out. He thought about her cute little bum as he started across the street, holding his hand up to the oncoming car as he crossed; as if that were enough to stop it from running him over. 

Come to think of it; he’d never properly seen Paige’s bum, had he? Perhaps he’d seen it in passing before… when she’d stayed over once or something. But, he’d never actually gotten a real good look at it. He wanted to grab two fistfuls of it and hold her against him. 

“Why the fuck is she not textin’ meh back?” Alex whispered to himself when he found himself on a street lined with quaint little townhouses. He knew these houses. He was here. She was here. 

_Now what number is she?_ He peered up and down the street, hoping something would stick out at him, but nothing looked familiar. Come off it, Alex, it hasn’t been this long since yeh’ve been in the neighborhood. He honestly wished he could focus a little better, and he burped, the acidic taste of liquor creeping up his throat. _Navy! Her door is navy blue._

Confidently, he strolled up to the first navy door he saw and swung the little door knocker. Stepping back, he popped his collar again, slicking his hair back with both hands now. ‘ave to look perfect when I see ‘er.

He knocked again, leaning up quite casually against the pillar. He slumped against it now, stepping back when he thought he saw the lights come on in the front window. He pulled out his phone and saw she’d replied.

**P: I’m ok.**

4:47 AM

**A: I’m outside.**

Leaning his back up against the brick entrance, he sighed impatiently.

//

Paige felt her fight or flight responses act up. Alex was drunk somewhere on the streets, probably waking up some poor old woman and scaring the living daylights out of her. He was actually scaring the living daylights out of her at the moment and she frantically texted him while she shoved her arms into the jacket of her coat, searching for her shoes.

**P: Where are you?!**

**A: Outside.**

**P: OUTSIDE WHERE ALEX?**   
  
**A: Are you yelling at me?**

**P: No**

**A: Shouty letters!**

Rolling her eyes at what a child he was, she scrolled through her contacts looking for Nick’s number. She was getting absolutely nowhere fast texting Alex, and odds were that Nick was more sober than he was, and they had probably all been out together. She knew they were in town; and she knew it was only a matter of time before she wound up seeing them. She had hoped it wouldn’t be under these circumstances, but then again, wasn’t it always?

Nick didn’t text back, he called her. She hurriedly explained that Alex had been texting her for the past hour trying to get to her place, and she wanted to know where they were before he’d left them.

“Christ, we thought he got tired, skipped out and took a cab. I thought he were alreyt.” Nick explained, his words a bit slurred but still coherent.

“It’s fine… where are you guys?”

“At that little pub we used to ‘ang out at…”

“The dive one on the corner by the old roller rink?” 

“Yeah, that one.” She heard Matt shouting in the background, “‘ey, you want us to come ‘elp yous find ‘em?”

“No…” She muttered, digging her feet into the only shoes she could find, her little black ankle boots. “I think I can find him… he’s probably not that far.”

“Yeh sure?”

“Yeah, this isn’t my first rodeo.”

“Text us when yeh find ‘em, yeah?”

“I will.” Paige slipped her phone into her pocket and grabbed her keys off the wall. “Fucking fuck fuck fuck, Alex.” She grumbled, slamming her door behind her.

//

She walked out onto the front steps, the icy cold air hitting her lungs hard. She inhaled shakily, her breath creating puffs of smoke. She had to call him to get some answers, he could be fucking anywhere.

“‘ello, love.” Alex answered dreamily, and drunkenly.

“Hi Al… can you tell me where you are?”

Long pause.

“Al?”

“Paige. I want to kiss yeh.”

 _Fuck me._

This was knackered Alex talking, so she forced herself to ignore it, she had to. She’d never find him if she didn’t keep him focused.

“Al, love… describe to me what you see right now.” She took a left down the street, praying this was the right direction.

“I see… your cute little bum.” He sighed, “I’ve never seen yeh bum, Paige. How come? Hey! That rhymes!”

“ALEX!” She exclaimed into the phone, glancing left and right as she jogged down the sidewalk looking for him in every doorway.

“That was loud.”

“Tell me what you see, for real.”

“Alreyt… I see some beautiful little shrubs just… dotted along the lil’ path ‘ere… and erm… let’s see… what a darling door knocker! I hadn’t thought to notice it before! It’s in the shape of a little dog, like a terrier I think, Paige. You should really see this; it’s fantastic.”

She couldn’t help the grin that broke out on her face; sometimes drunk Alex was actually quite funny. But the description he was giving wasn’t nearly enough information for her so she pressed for more.

“What color is the door, Al?”

Yet another long pause.

“Well… it’s navy, but I’d like to think it’d look a bit more dashing in a vibrant peacock.”

“Navy!” Paige exclaimed, stopping dead in her tracks and doubling back a few steps to hang another left

“I really think you should consider it in the peacock, Paige…” Alex rambled on in the background.

She knew where he was. There was a stretch of homes in the nicer district two streets up where the whole row was painted with navy doors. Why hadn’t she thought to ask him that first? 

“Hang on Alex, I’ll be there in five minutes!”

“Delightful!” He cried drunkenly before the line went dead.

//

5:03 AM

She’d made it there in four, and just in the nick of time it seemed, because Alex looked to be sleeping on the front steps of the swanky townhouse. 

Paige took out her phone once more, snapping a pic and sending it to the three other Monkeys, with the message; _Found him!_

Alex lifted his head a bit when he heard her boot heels on the pavement clicking their way towards him. “Look at your little booties!” He cried loudly, pointing to her feet.

Paige chuckled, squatting down in front of him. “Hey, Al.”

“‘eyyy…” He slurred, a goofy grin on his face.

She didn’t want to admit it, but he looked… fucking perfect. Despite the smell of booze and cigarettes, and the droopy eyelids; he was still very much Alex. It’d been almost a year since the last time she’d seen him face-to-face. They tried face timing once, but Alex was pretty much the worst when it came to technology, so that ended horribly.

“Are you up for walking?” She asked him, and he nodded, wobbling as he stood up.She took note of what he was wearing; all black of course; leather jacket, turtleneck, jeans and Chelsea boots, very rock ’n roll.

“I’m gonna throw me arm around yeh, for some support because…” He burped, “I’m not me self right now.”

She giggled, waving the scent of liquor from her face, “Yeah, I kinda figured that one out.”

They headed down the path, and Alex made sure to point out the ‘beautiful little shrubs’. “Really well-maintained! I reckon the person who lives here is quite the lil’ gardener!”

“Oh man, this is going to be some walk.”

Alex stopped when they’d made it to the first block. “‘ang on… I’m gonna ‘ave a smoke.”

Paige waited, watching him light the fucking thing. Of course he looked cooler than ever… as ridiculously dorky as he was, he was still the coolest person she knew. He hadn’t always looked this way; no, that took years of cultivating a particular image… but damn if it didn’t suit him.

He blew a few rings of smoke into the air.

“Show off.” She smirked and he threw his arm over her shoulders, putting a lot more weight on her than she expected. Christ, he wasn’t even big enough to weigh that much.

“Paige…” He began, sounding as if the nicotine and fresh air had begun to sober him up, “I’ve been seein’ yeh all night.”

“Have you?”

“Yup! I saw yeh snoggin’ some bloke at the bar,” He began recounting his tale, throwing his arm about dramatically, cigarette sailing through the air, “And then I thought I saw some wanker fuckin’ yeh against the brick wall of a sketchy alley!”

Paige’s eyes widened, her cheeks reddening at the thought. “I can assure you that that was not me.”

“No, no… couldn’t be.” He muttered, “Oh! And then I tried to get me self a taxi, and there yeh were givin’ the driver a fuckin’ blow job!” He exclaimed wildly, his voice several octaves louder than it should be at 5:15 in the morning.

“Shhh!!!” Paige threw her hand against his mouth, giggling.

Alex just smiled behind her hand, his big brown eyes gazing into hers lazily. 

“You have to be quiet ok? You’re waking up the whole damn neighborhood. Ok?” She repeated and he nodded before she took her hand away.

“Yeh’re really beautiful, Paige. ‘ave I told yeh that?”

Sighing, she rolled her eyes, “Yes, Al. Several times before.” She started walking again, just wanting to be back home in her bed now.

Alex was lingering behind her, and something clicked before he jogged to catch up. He slipped his hand in hers, linking their arms together. “I’m quite serious, tha knows.”

His accent was always much thicker when he was back home. Maybe it just came out of him when he was on his own turf. 

“Thank you. But you’re very drunk right now, and I’m very tired, so let’s not play this game and just get back to my place to sleep.”

He nodded, still trotting alongside her.

“Can I sleep with yeh when we get back?”

Paige swallowed hard, feeling him squeeze her hand tightly. “Um…”

“Because your couch is fuckin’ shite. That much I do remember.”

Another deep breath. “Yeah… that’s fine.”

“Don’t be mad at meh, Paige. I ‘ate it when yeh’re mad at meh.”

“I’m not mad, Alex, I’m tired, I told you.”

“Alreyt then, I’m zippin’ me lips until we get back to yours.”

Honestly, she didn’t mind his mindless chatter because she’d missed it so very much; but she couldn’t take the not-so-subtle sexual advances. She was no fool. She knew that tonight was a booty call, and she had promised herself that she’d never ever sleep with Al. She snuck a look at him in the faint light of the sunrise, inspecting his profile; the cheekbones and the sharp nose, and that fucking jawline. Christ, it could cut glass. He was handsome. He’d grown into all the awkward bits on him, and now everything was perfect. 

She squeezed his hand this time, suddenly overwhelmed with happiness to have him home. He turned to look at her, his lips curving up in the corner, his sleepy bedroom eyes blinking lazily. 

“Alreyt, love?” He asked softly, breaking his oath of silence.

She nodded, leaning her head on his shoulder.  
  
//

5:42 AM

  
“Hmph. Your door is green.” Alex murmured contemplatively. “Could’ve sworn yeh lived at the blue ones.”

Paige fumbled with the lock, her mind muddled now that it was almost 6 in the morning. “Always been green.”

“‘as it? I like it. A bit like an Emerald City green, innit?”

“Sure.” She responded, “Come on then, Al… up ya go.”

He teetered a bit on his boot heels, and gallantly waved her forward. “No no, after you darlin’, I insist.”

“Whatever… if you fall on the stairs; I’m leaving you there.”

She stomped up ahead of him, already on the first landing before he’d even made it halfway. 

“Alex.” She said sternly, staring down the flight at him. 

“Christ, love! I’m fuckin’ tryin’ ‘ere!”

She crossed her arms over her chest, only feeling slightly bad for him. He was the one that inflicted this abuse on his body night after night, so in a sense, he deserved every bit of the pain and suffering.

When he made it to the top, he jumped, throwing his arms up in the air. “Made it!”

Paige clapped her hands weakly, “Finally.”

Scowling, Alex followed her into her dark apartment. The sun hadn’t hit her side of the building yet, but she didn’t bother to turn on any lights. There were very little fucks being given at the moment, and she headed straight for her bedroom. Tossing her coat in a chair, she kicked her boots off and shimmied out of her pants before Alex even crossed the threshold. She pawed through her drawers, extracting her favorite sleep bottoms and t-shirt. She pulled them on hurriedly, anxious to get in bed, and yanked her t-shirt over her head in exchange for another, slightly older, more worn-in model.

“”ello there,” Alex grinned from the doorway, catching her topless. Well, from behind anyways. “Weh’re takin’ our clothes off, are weh? Alreyt…” He headed for the bed, dropping his leather jacket into a heap on the ground and struggling with his turtleneck and belt simultaneously; which was precisely the problem.

“Alright…” She laughed, beyond overtired. “Here…” She unbuckled his belt for him and helped him with his shirt. He just smiled that drunk, goofy smile at her, understanding enough that she was taking care of him. “Use the bathroom before you get in bed, ok?”

He nodded and sauntered through the wooden doorframe, leaving it wide open even as he proceeded to unzip his pants. Shaking her head, she went to grab him some water from the tap to leave on the nightstand in case he got thirsty. When she got back, he was stepping out of his jeans and crawling helplessly across the bed to the side that was always his. 

“Here’s some water for you,” She told him softly, setting it beside him.  
Paige sat for a moment on her side, setting an alarm for much later on her phone, knowing full well they wouldn’t wake up until after noon at least. She felt Alex’s hand on her back and she froze. 

“C’mon, lay down.” He mumbled sleepily, then tugged on her shirt.

She set her phone on the nightstand, and glanced over her shoulder at him. He was all snuggled up like a little boy, eyelids droopy, his signature quiff long since abandoned in favor of a much messier mop. The comforter was tucked up under his chin, but when he noticed her sliding in, he held it open for her.  
Sighing, she decided it couldn’t get much worse than it already was, and slid into his embrace like a warm, cozy invitation. He wrapped his arms tight around her, pulling her impossibly close, much closer than she normally liked. Alex was the only person she let cuddle her this hard. He was good at it. He didn’t smother, he nestled, and there was a gigantic difference. 

“This feels familiar.” She whispered, her head against his chest. His skin smelled good; not like the cigarettes and liquor of his jacket, but more like Alex, the one she used to know. It was clean and fresh and it smelled like… home. She gulped, squeezing her eyes shut tight.

“I’ve been… dreaming about this bed… for… a long time.” He murmured, the speed in which he spoke an indiction that he was falling under.

“Just the bed?” She whispered back, soft enough that she almost hoped he couldn’t hear her ask it.

He didn’t respond after several moments which only tightened the knot forming in her chest; like a vice grip on her heart.

“Not just the bed,” He said suddenly, “The pillows, too.”

Alex stroked her hair absentmindedly, his thumb rubbing circles on her shoulder. 

She bit her lip, willing herself to fall asleep fast.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter three probably won’t happen for a week or two… just as a warning!!
> 
> Lauren xx

Friday / 2:15 PM  
Paige was curled up on her couch, laptop balancing on the armrest beside her. She was supposed to be working on her book, but instead she was procrastinating, scrolling through Pinterest and sipping juice. She’d been up for nearly an hour, slipping out of Alex’s death grip without him waking up. 

  
“Speak of the devil,” She grinned as he emerged from her bedroom, comforter wrapped around his shoulders, dragging behind him. “Hey! You dismantled my bed!”

He shrugged, arriving at the couch and flopping onto it beside her. 

“How did you sleep?” She sing-songed, grinning wolfishly.

“Ugh…” He groaned, pulling the blanket up around his head,

“Poor baby!” She exclaimed, roughly patting his head. “What did we learn from last night?”

“Fuck, Paige, that fuckin’ ‘urts!”

Rolling her eyes at him she snapped her laptop shut and jumped up, heading for the kitchen. “Oh calm down… I saved your ass last night. You’d probably still be drunkenly admiring some old lady’s gardening techniques if it weren’t for me. The least you could do is thank me.”

“You’re a bloody life saver,” He growled, tumbling over to lay curled up on his side.

She rummaged through her fridge collecting the makings of a massive (very late) breakfast spread. “You’re welcome, you dickhead.”

“Well, I see you ‘aven’t changed.” Came his muffled reply from deep inside the blankets. 

“Likewise.” She muttered, finding the frying pan she was looking for and rattling it loudly against the other ones. He let a string of curses out and she couldn’t help but snicker in the kitchen. Fuck it, he deserved to be tortured. 

Alex stayed buried underneath the blankets while Paige was making an incredible racket in the kitchen. He felt guilty for being annoyed because here he was imposing on her yet again, after another night of drunken ridiculousness. God only knows what he did this time, but he was willing to bet he said some things his sober-self would cringe over. He could vaguely remember some shrubs and a homeless man yelling at him… and Paige fucking some bloke? _No, that couldn’t be right._

Unearthing himself from his cocoon, he called to her over the back of the couch, too dizzy to sit up straight. “‘ey, Paige… did you, erm… you didn’t go out last night, did yeh? Like, partyin’ or whatever?”

Paige giggled, setting the oven temperature for the pan of bacon. “Do you mean; was I out and about performing sexual acts on the men of High Green?”

Alex’s eyes widened at the prospect, and a slew of images flashed in his mind. He’d envisioned Paige giving blow jobs and riding motorcycles naked. _What the fuck is wrong with meh?_

“Oh God… Did I ask yeh if yeh did those things last night?”

“Yup.” She laughed again, “You were quite adamant that I gave some man head in a taxi you were trying to take.”

Alex felt his face burning and he chuckled a bit, mostly because she was still laughing and also because he was a complete idiot. “I’m fuckin’ daft.”

“You’re actually pretty hilarious when plastered; annoying, but mostly entertaining.” 

Paige padded over to the back of the couch, leaning over to inspect her wounded comrade. He was a bit pale, and his eyes weren’t their sparkliest, but that didn’t detract from how adorable he was. “You’re such a bastard,” She sighed, “How can you look this decent after drinking so much?”

“Rock ’n roll, babeh,” He smirked catching her rolling her eyes again. They were going to stick that way if she kept doing it.

“Ew,” She gagged, heading for her liquor cabinet. “Please don’t say that kind of shit to me.”

“I’m only jokin’, love.”

“It’s probably true, though. Fucking partying all the time in L.A. Christ, you write five chart-topping albums and suddenly you’re Mr. Popular.” She teased, raising her eyebrow at him. 

It was his turn to roll his eyes. Which hurt. Bad. “I’m not like that.”

“Oh no, of course not.”

Alex may have been dizzy and his head may have been pounding, but it didn’t stop him from remembering why he loved being with Paige so much. She loved to tease him, and Alex loved and deserved every second of it. They’d known each other since before the Monkeys first album, when she’d first moved to England from the States. Way back when they were fourteen and fifteen years old. Other than the guys in the band, she knew him better than anyone else. 

“Yeh’re right, I s’pose.” He said, pinching the bridge of his nose and squinting his eyes. “Fuck meh… I swear, fuckin’ ‘angovers get worse the older yeh fuckin’ get.”

“Yes, they do. What exactly did you drink last night? You need some hair of the dog.”

He groaned, “I think Tequila. Which fuckin’ concerns meh because I drink that shit all the time.”

He watched her set down two glasses on the coffee table in front of him.  
“Two?”

“It would be rude for me to let you drink alone.” She grinned, pouring two full shots, “And this is also my favorite bottle, so I have to. Bottoms up, love.”

Alex brought his shot glass to his mouth, gagging at the smell and then downed it quickly. “Ugh, that’s fuckin’ delicious and ‘orrible all at the same time. It’s like a blessin’ and a curse.” 

Paige laughed, “It’ll hopefully make you feel better. If not, brunch will also be ready soon, and if all that greasy goodness doesn’t help… I’ve got plenty of weed.”

“Can’t I just ‘ave it all?” Alex asked her, kneeling up and watching her over the couch.

“Yeah, I mean, we probably should, right? Just to make sure we completely and totally cure the hangover?”

“Exactly.”  
Alex rested his chin on his folded arms, his eyes following her as she moved about the kitchen. She certainly hadn’t changed very much since the last time he’d seen her. If anything, she seemed to be much more comfortable in her own skin; not quite as shy as she once was. Perhaps it was because they were both getting older and their lives were slowly evolving as the years pressed on. He felt guilty he didn’t see her more often; he missed this so much.

On top of that, she looked so cute and domestic cooking them both food and Alex got that feeling in his stomach that was typically reserved for his drunken escapades. Thinking back on last night, he remembered the exact thoughts that filtered into his mind in the hour leading up to sending Paige that initial first text. Every time he came home to High Green, even on the plane ride over, she was on his mind. He wondered what she was doing and what she was up to. He thought of long nights playing records and smoking, giggling at everything. 

He thought of the first time they kissed. To this day, it still remained his favorite kiss. It made him smile even now, just picturing it. 

_They were sitting opposite one another cross-legged on her bed after a party they’d both attended. They’d only gone so the other wouldn’t be lonely, and they left early, too socially awkward to comfortably mingle with the other kids their age. They took the longer route home, passing half a joint back and forth between them until they reached her house and bolted upstairs before her parents heard them._

_She was wearing a dress with tiny little flowers printed on it and black over-the-knee socks. She looked like the alternative female singers from the nineties and he had an irrational crush on her that he knew was just plain foolish, even at the tender age of seventeen. If he’d acted on his feelings for her then, it would’ve just been a mess of hormones that led to heartbreak, and she was too wonderful to do that to. Besides, she was his best mate besides Matt, and he didn’t ever want to jeopardize that. But that night had been so perfect, and he didn’t want it to end and he wanted her to know how much he cared for her._

_His fingers gently stroked the black fabric covering her knee, and she stopped mid-sentence, her eyes cutting to wear his hand was._

_“Alex…?” She said softly, hesitantly._

_“I want to kiss yeh, Paige. I know weh shouldn’t, but I want teh.”_

_Her hands wrung nervously in her lap, he hadn’t known then, but she’d never properly kissed anyone before him._

_“Um… alright.” She whispered, and he linked his fingers with hers, holding her hand._

Her eyes were wide and she looked more shy than she’d ever looked before, and Alex almost didn’t go through with it. But then she licked her lips and her bottom lip was so shimmery and full, that he couldn’t stop himself; he had to taste her, just once.

She closed her eyes, her eyelashes fluttering on her cheeks, and he gingerly touched his lips to hers. He was no expert himself even though he’d kissed a few girls before, but it had never been like this. Her lips were soft and her tongue was hesitant, but the more he kissed her, the more urgently she kissed back. He remembered thinking that someone was going to have to pry them apart because he never wanted this moment to end.

He could still hear the sound of her giggle afterwards, and it crushed him every time. “Your lips are so soft.” She’d whispered to him after, and he’d grinned kissing her quickly once more. But that was it, he promised himself. No more. 

A few years later, it would happen again, and again, but at different times and different places for different reasons. He liked kissing Paige, he always had, and that’s why he’d texted her that night. He felt like a right dickhead for only having the courage to pursue her when he was drinking, because she deserved better than that. 

She always would.

//

  
Friday / 4:16 PM

“I’m gonna take a shower… do you want to as well?”

Alex was all stretched out on the couch after stuffing himself silly with breakfast food. It was funny how effortlessly he fell back into their old routines so comfortably. 

His eyes widened at her question, his face breaking out into a grin. “Did yeh intend to phrase that question that way, or…?”

Realizing how she said it, she rolled her eyes. “I didn’t mean it like that you pervert.”

He folded his arms behind his head, all casual. “Well, either way, the answer is yes, love.”

“Ohhh kayyyy… “ She laughed, “I’m going in the shower now. Alone.” She turned on her heels hiding her face before Alex could see how red it was. Usually the sexual innuendos and dirty jokes were part of their repertoire, but it had been so damn long, she’d forgotten how to properly respond. 

“Don’t be mad, Paige!” He called after her, “I was only joking!”

“I’m not mad Alex!” She shouted back.

“It sort of seems like yeh are!”

“Am not. Stop acting like a teenage boy.” She called back through the doorway, “Fuck off.”

Alex couldn’t help but laugh, having succeeded at getting a rise out of her. “I see yeh haven’t lost that lil’ spark yeh’ve always ‘ad.”

“Oh, what can I say, you bring out the best in me.”

“Naturally.”

Paige clenched her hands tightly, stalking off to her bathroom. She ripped her clothing off haphazardly, frustrated that she let him get to her. She knew it was the sexual tension; you could cut it with a knife if you wanted, and it had been that way for so long. Too long. Since the first kiss, her first kiss, they’d been this way. They’d tease each other mercilessly, then apologize, then fall into this weird affectionate state typically reserved for longtime couples. They’d say or do something they’d both regret, then separate and not see each other again for weeks and months at a time. It was upsetting and torturous because to be honest, Paige didn’t know what she wanted.

Alex was her best friend. She had other girl friends and a few guys as well, but neither of them had any siblings, and ever since she’d moved here, they’d taken a liking to each other. They understood one another on a level that most people just can’t grasp anymore. That kind of friendship died when a group text message became more exciting than dinner with your family, or an actual date with a another human being. Any sort of relationship barely made it past a year, let alone one that spanned sixteen years like Alex and Paige. 

Letting the hot spray of water sting her back until she couldn’t take it any longer, she lowered the temp and tried to not think about all the times she’d let herself slip with Alex. They were the kind of thoughts that crept into her mind late at night, when she was lonely or just plain missing him. The last time he’d kissed her was the freshest memory, the one that could’ve potentially changed everything in their relationship had they let it.

_Three months before the last time she’d seen him, they were at a small venue watching some band play. He’d called and asked her if she was busy, and as luck would have it, she’d just split from the guy she’d been seeing two nights before. She graciously accepted, happy to be out of her apartment with a good distraction from her thoughts._

_Alex had been in town for two weeks, but this was their first time seeing one another. She met him there, and he was already a few drinks in. This was their typical routine of course. Alex would get drunk and want to see her, and like the friend-slash-fool she was, she was always there for him. When he found out she was dumped by her cheating boyfriend, he made sure the drinks didn’t stop flowing._

_“Paige,” He’d said, “yeh’ve been dumped by a right dickhead, and yeh’re allowed to get completely pissed if yeh want. This is my last drink, and I promise to take care of yeh tonight.”_

_This is certainly a change, she’d thought to herself, and gladly welcomed the seemingly endless amount of liquor and beer. They laughed and people-watched in between sets, and Paige was honestly having the time of her life; her ex completely absent from her thoughts._

_It was towards the end of the show, and they were still huddled in some darkened back corner. She was leaning against the wall, laughing at something he’d shouted to her over the noise. She smiled at him, bringing her nearly empty bottle to her lips. She felt his eyes on her, studying her, and she glanced sideways at him, eyebrow raised in question. His hand was on the wall beside her head, and he was awfully close to her. No closer than he usually was, but the heady feeling of his proximity made her sway a bit. Sure, the alcohol was a contributing factor, but this was mostly the sexual tension that always filtered to the surface when they were enjoying each others’ company too much._

_“He’s a fuckin’ bastard… yehr ex, for cheatin’ on yeh,” He told her, “Yeh deserve so much betteh.”_

_Paige felt like she was losing herself in his big brown eyes; they had always been her favorite thing about him. Now he was standing so close to her, she could smell his cologne and the cigarettes he always smoked. She felt his fingertips on hers, taking the bottle from her hands and taking a small swig for himself. His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat, and he licked his lips, mesmerizing her with the simplest gestures. Bottle still in hand, he squared his hips off closing her in against the wall. He brushed his nose against hers, and Paige found herself arching into him, daring him to make another move._

_Alex’s lips fell against hers like they had all those times before, with perfect ease; and he sighed into the kiss. Paige flattened her palms against his stomach feeling the tightened muscles underneath the soft fabric of his shirt. She slid them inside his jacket and around his waist, pressing her fingers into his hips and holding him against her._

It was a slow, teasing kiss, and Alex let his tongue explore her mouth, tasting the traces of beer that lingered there. His fingers toyed with the hem of her shirt, tugging at it, despite the bottle in his hand. She moaned into his mouth, losing herself in the moment, letting Alex completely consume her. He kissed at the corner of her lips, his mouth trailing down her neck, where he buried his face, his lips latching onto the skin just below her ear. He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her flush against him. 

_“Yeh’re gorgeous, Paige…” He whispered against her ear, “I would never hurt yeh, ya know…”_

_Her head was spinning, dizzy from the alcohol and from Alex’s touch. He knew how to touch her and what she liked it seemed, and it all felt so comfortable, which only intensified her feelings. She felt his mouth on hers again, his lips more anxious, the kisses more intense. She may have been drunk, but she knew well enough that if she didn’t stop this now, then it would end in something they would both regret. And so, she forced herself to ignore how good it felt for him to hold her like this, even though she didn’t really want him to stop._

_Someone knocked into Alex just then, wrenching them apart. Alex shouted after them, his accent heavy, telling them to fuck off. Paige brought her hand to her mouth, wiping at her lips, forgetting that they’d been in plain sight of the prying public this whole time. When he turned back to her, he asked her if she was alright and if she wanted to get out of there. The ride back to her place was quiet, and he held her close to him, his arm draped protectively across her shoulders. He stayed with her that night, kissing her as they fell to sleep._

She had told herself that it was the sting of being rejected that forced her into his arms, but she would have been lying if she said she didn’t like it.

//

Alex was in exactly the same place he’d been when she’d left him; except now he was reading some magazine she’d left lying around.

“Your turn.” She announced, walking past him to grab a glass of water.

“That was kind of a long shower, wasn’t it?” Not bothering to look up from the article he was reading about “decoding what a man really means.“

“I’m not really sure what that’s supposed to imply, but if it took longer than you would prefer, please remember that this is my apartment and that also, I was washing the smell of a drunkard off me.”

“Drunkard?” Alex chortled, “Hardly. And I ‘aven’t been close enough to yeh to get me smell on yeh.” He was being a dickhead, he knew, because he wasn’t drunk enough at that point last night to forget about sleeping beside Paige. He felt guilty about pretending not to remember, but he honestly didn’t know what the fuck he was doing. 

Paige inhaled deeply, shaking her head. Of course he didn’t remember cuddling _the fuck_ out of her last night because, why would he? He had been inebriated. 

Alex stood up to stretch, eyeing Paige in the kitchen wearing her bathrobe. It was a new one, shorter and different. The fact that he knew what kind of bathrobes she had made him smile inside; but he wasn’t quite sure why. He also liked her hair wet. It was dark and wavy and long, and he loved long hair. He knew that when it had dried a little more, she’d absentmindedly braid it over her shoulder and that made his heart beat a little faster. 

“Everything’s the same in there, yeah?” He asked her as he headed to her bedroom, walking backwards.

“Yup… hot, cold, soap, towel… all there.” She responded curtly, feeling like an asshole as soon as she’d said it.

Alex knew he’d pissed her off, so he just slunk away to her room, leaving her be. His heart felt heavy when he saw that she’d set everything up all nice in there for him. She’d laid out a towel and a washcloth and a regular bar of soap since she knew he didn’t really care much for the fancy stuff. He shut the door behind him, leaning his forehead against it and groaning. Why was he such a miserable bastard to her? _Because you can be. She lets you._

He stripped out of his clothes, staring at his reflection in the mirror. He looked horrible; pale skin and heavy blue rings under his eyes. Maybe being here with Paige would be good for him; he needed a detox from his rockstar life because it was obviously destroying him. Her shower was just like he’d remembered it; cozy and kind of cramped like a lot of English bathrooms tended to be. It was bright and warm just like the rest of her apartment; just like her. 

Alex closed his eyes, letting the hot water rush over his face and then his neck and shoulders. Everything felt stiff, particularly the shoulder where his guitar strap rested when he played. When they used to hang out, way back when, he’d make Paige give him back and neck massages after gigs when he’d had one too many beers, or an extra hit of weed. That was back before either of them started seeing anyone seriously, back before it got too weird. It hadn’t been exclusive to just him though, he definitely remembered the other guys asking her as well, since they’d all been so close in those days. Thinking about it now though, he never realized how much he’d actually liked it. She had gentle fingers, the kind that could hypnotize you to sleep when they just brushed your skin or tickled your neck. He took a deep breath, forcing himself not to think about her fingers on his bare skin in her shower. 

When he’d toweled off, it suddenly occurred to him that he didn’t have anything to change in to. He wrapped the towel around his waist, opening her bedroom door to see her standing there rummaging through her drawers. 

“I’m looking for something you can wear right now…” She told him, not even bothering to look up.

He smiled a lopsided grin as he leaned against the door jamb. “How’d yeh know?” She must’ve gotten over being upset with him.

“I know you,” She smiled to herself, unearthing a shirt of his that he’d left here ages ago. “Here it is…” She announced, brandishing the ancient t-shirt. “Your jeans are still in pretty good shape, unless you wanna wear sweatpants or something, I might have a pair you can wear…”

He chuckled, “I’ll wear me own trousers, but I’ll take the shirt.” She tossed it at him and stood up to retrieve his jeans. “I forgot I left this here.”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure I stole it from you,” She bit her lip, handing him his neatly folded denim. “I liked wearing it that one time, and I didn’t think you’d miss it.”

He shook his head, “I loved this shirt. I’m glad it were in good ‘ands.”  
She refused to tell him that she’d wear it when she missed him, especially in those beginning days right after they’d hung out and he’d leave her for another tour. Some nights the smell of it made her think he was right there beside her, and then she’d cry for a bit, missing her best friend and fall asleep.

He retreated to the bathroom again, leaving the door slightly ajar as he changed.

Paige took a seat on the bed, “So, um… what’s your plan for the rest of the day? You’ve probably got places to be this weekend,” She called to him, already slightly disappointed if he did have places to be.

“Actually… I’ve got nowhere to be for a few days… thought maybe I could ‘ang out with yeh a bit more,” He opened the door and Paige glanced up at him wearing those tight jeans she liked on him so much, and that shirt. She’d missed seeing him in it.

“Really?” She asked, her face lighting up almost instantly.

He chuckled, “Yes, realeh. What… I can’t spend some time with me oldest mate?”

She scrunched her nose up at that, “Please don’t refer to me as your oldest mate. Twenty eight isn’t old.”

“I just meant… old as in… I’ve known yeh a long time?”

“Still. Not a fan.”

“Oh c’mon… yeh don’t look a day over twenty-two, what with that sweet lil’ baby face,” He teased, mentally adding in the fact that her ass seemed to defy gravity; it was perhaps getting even better looking than it had when she actually were twenty-two.

“I don’t know about that…” She smiled softly, getting up and heading back to the living room. “Do ya want to just order some take away and watch a movie?”

Alex yawned, and stretched a little, “That sounds fuckin’ perfect, love.” He collapsed back onto the couch and she flopped down beside him, pulling her phone out to search for some place to order from.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted chapter two over a year ago and said chapter three wouldn’t come for a week or two. I’m a gigantic liar. So here it is, a little over a year later. And in case you need to refresh your memory; I’m linking the first two parts here as well. You’d should also know that this is the third thing I’ve written in a week about Alex and his 👅💦
> 
> Enjoy xx

****

**Friday / 6:15pm**

Before long, they’d practically melted into one another on the couch, sitting nearly on top of each other as if the couch was swallowing them from the middle. Alex’s arm was draped across her shoulders and her legs were resting across his, like one giant best friend pretzel. There was nothing unnatural in this at all; it was how they always were when they were together, sometimes to the dismay of their significant others. None of them seemed to understand the deep level of friendship they shared. 

“How do you feel?” Paige asked him, her eyes still locked on the movie.

“Mmm… better… food was good.” Alex murmured. If he was being honest, his stomach felt a little funny still… kind of nauseous. He cast a glance sideways at Paige; her grey eyes wide and engaged. He smiled softly; she really was the sweetest person he knew. Why did he always give her a hard time? Yeah, it was what they’d always done to each other; but they weren’t sixteen anymore… it didn’t work that way now. You don’t pick on someone and hope they get the hint that they like you. 

“My stomach… it still feels kinda…” Alex began and then made a sound like bubbling. 

Paige giggled, “Still nauseous?”

“Kinda… sorta.”

“Good.” She snorted and shifted a little against him. 

Alex knew she was pissed about having to take care of him again _._ He didn’t blame her. He deserved it. Being back home was different than being back in LA. He had people watching him constantly, and everyone was always out having a good time. Here people still lived lives. It wasn’t a twenty-four seven party. He knew that. 

His stomach was flipping though, he could’t ignore it. His palm was flat against Paige’s thigh, and he rubbed it up and down absentmindedly. 

“Do yeh erm… do yeh wanna smoke?”

“ _Yup._ ” Paige agreed much faster than he thought she would. She untangled herself from him now that she was all fired up and edgy. The weed was a _very_ good suggestion. She needed to get untangled from him for just a moment. Sometimes she could handle it just fine, but for some reason, seeing Alex this weekend was making her more emotional than she’d ever admit. She knew that the minute he went back to his real life; leaving her here in their hometown, she was going to be depressed. It hurt too much now. 

Alex paused the movie, stretching a little while he waited for her to come back. He took a few slugs of his beer, trying to prepare himself to cope with the conversation that was sure to come up. They had a history of being _very_ truthful when they smoked together. 

Paige returned from the other room, and sat back beside Alex, leaning forward to pack her little peach-shaped bowl. Alex grinned. He loved that thing. It was very Paige. 

He stretched his arms out along the back of the couch, his legs spread apart as he watched her. 

“This is just like when weh’d ‘ang out after class, rollin’ blunts on top of yehr chemistry book.” He was giddy. It’d been awhile. 

“Just with much better weed.” Paige muttered and Alex snorted. She was right. “I don’t wanna smoke too much…” She informed him, holding up the little glass fruit. She looked over her shoulder at him, startled to find him so close. “Alex…” She laughed and he made a silly face at her. 

“I’m excited. It’s been a long time.”

“It has.” She grinned. How could she even be upset with him, ever? He was just… Alex. “Do you have your lighter?”

He nodded and fished it out of his pocket where it’d been wedged since the last time he went to her back fire escape for a smoke. “Here yeh go, love.” 

She shook her head, “Nope. Guests first. You know the rules.”

Alex rolled his eyes and held his hand open for the bowl. “Alreyt… ‘ere weh go…” 

Paige’s mouth fell open when she watched him concentrate on lighting and inhaling. She knew that in a couple of seconds, his eyes would start to look heavy, and he’d giggle a lot and she kind of couldn’t wait. 

He handed the paraphernalia to her while he held in the smoke for as long as he could; exhaling so cool and smooth that she wanted to kick him. He _never_ coughed _and_ he could do tricks. Like right now.

“Show off.” She muttered and prepared to take a hit.

He blew out the tail end of a smoke ring, his eyelids already feeling leaden. He wrinkled his nose, unable to stop staring at her. She was so beautiful; so much so that his heart ached. He didn’t need to be high to realize that, but it certainly helped to magnify it. He watched her, watched the way her soft pink lips pressed against the opening, the way her brow furrowed in concentration when she simultaneously lit the bowl and inhaled. He blinked his eyes slowly, one after the other, admiring how long she were able to hold in the smoke before releasing it in a slow, steady stream from her pouty lips. She tossed her long, ombre hair over her shoulder, looking like she belonged in a different decade altogether. 

“I think it’s still lit…” She informed him as she handed back the peach. They each repeated the action once more before Paige exhaled as she sunk back into the couch again, eyes drifting closed. Alex studied her face through hazy eyes, her high cheekbones and dark eyebrows smooth and relaxed. She looked so calm and cool and sexy; like nothing could touch her.

Except him. He wanted to touch her.

“Yeh’re done?” He asked her, preparing to light it again. He knew he’d be sorry on this last one, sometimes he had difficulty realizing when it was time to call it quits.

Paige nodded sleepily, holding up her fingers in a peace sign. “Just wanted two hits.” She murmured softly, tilting her head back, her neck exposed to him. His eyes drifted down her neck to her collar bones and the dip in the middle of her breasts. The neck of her t-shirt was low and rounded and he wanted to find out what was just below the collar.

“Hmm…” Alex nodded, as her tongue flicked out to lick her lips slowly. He blinked his eyes lazily before taking another hit and inhaling as much as he could handle. He stroked her side along her ribs and she opened one eye to see his cheeks swelled out. He curled his finger, beckoning her.

“No…” She giggled, knowing full well she shouldn’t partake in any more. But he was insistent, twisting his body so that his hand could rest on the couch behind her head. He made a face indicating he couldn’t hold the smoke much longer. 

“Okay! Okay!” Paige laughed, sitting up. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as Alex moved in, his lips just an inch or so away from hers. She opened her mouth, and inhaled on his exhale, letting the smoke from his mouth fill her own. When they’d first learned to smoke, and Alex learned what shotgunning was, it quickly became his very favorite thing ever.

“Yeh feel good, yeah?” He asked her, not bothering to move away, his face still very much close to hers. 

Paige knew it’d been too much. All of it was too much. She didn’t want to get too fucked up, but everything Alex was doing and saying just reminded her of what afternoons were like after school when they were fourteen and fifteen, drinking cider and smoking weed. They thought they were so rebellious back then. She blinked slowly, mouth upturned in a half-smile.

Alex bit his lip, “One more?” He didn’t know what he was doing, all he knew what that he wanted to be this close to Paige, always. 

“ _One_ more.” She squinted her eyes, attempting some bit of control, but really she could do this all night. She watched with half-lidded eyes as he inhaled another mouthful. She inched forward, her knee knocking against his. His eyes poured into hers, holding the smoke in his cheeks, and she brushed her hand along his jaw to hold herself in place. When Alex got close enough, he brushed his nose agains hers, exhaling into her inhale letting the smoke slowly drift between their open mouths. and the sensation of their lips touching so closely made them both feel the heavy burn in the back of their throats. The weed was already hitting her hard, her heartbeat’s gentle throb an indication of the effect. 

Alex’s lips brushed against hers, tasting the smokiness that lingered there, and he exhaled once more before their mouths entwined sloppily in a frantic, heavily anticipated kiss. She whimpered instantly, her hands in his hair, gripping it in a tight eagerness. He growled in reply, his fingers slipping under her shirt to squeeze her hip. He kissed her deep, exploring her with familiarity and a want he could not describe. It was intense, full of heat with the lingering sensation of burnt air and a relief of thick tension. They both couldn’t stop, teeth clashing, hands roaming, Paige nearly crawling into his lap like it was as natural as the oxygen in her lungs. In the next second she pulled away, her irises glittering. 

Or maybe that was just Alex’s imagination. 

“Sorreh…I just…” He murmured, moving his hands about as if he were backtracking trying to describe his original intentions. “I were thinkin’ about…”

Suddenly, Paige’s arms had snaked around his neck, and she rested her head against his shoulder. “It’s okay, Aly.” She half whispered, her lips at the curve in his neck. He smelled like home again and she kissed his neck softly. She felt a tear slip down her cheek, catching it before he could feel it.

Alex raised his eyebrows, only slightly aware that he’d just been dismissed somehow. But then, what had he expected? They’d let themselves get out of hand and she’d realized it had been a mistake. He didn’t want the rest of their time together ruined, so he just let it go.

“Are you hungry? I’m hungry.” She asked him, sitting up and tucking her hair behind her ears as if nothing had happened. Maybe she just wanted to pretend it didn’t. “Should we get that Chinese takeaway now?”

//

“I remember, I remember!” Alex snorted, burying his face in his arm, laughing hysterically. 

Paige could hardly breathe, nearly crying at the stupid shit they used to do. “Do you remember when you _banned_ me from crowd surfing at your shows? _Banned_.”

“Yes. Yeah. Yeah I do remember that!” Alex leaned up on his elbow, “I remember because yeh wanted to try it so bad but the crowds were quite rowdy back then. No one took care of each other, everyone were just flailing about. Couldn’t let yeh do it.”

“ _Let me_.” She rolled her eyes, “All your stupid rules back then.”

“‘ey now.” He pointed at her, his eyelids still feeling quiet heavy despite the fact that the high wasn’t as strong as it had been an hour ago. “‘ad to keep me eye on yeh. Under me watch and all.”

“Under _your_ watch? Please.” She smirked, imitating his thick accent. “‘ _c’mon Paigey… too pissed teh go ‘ome… tell me folks I’m stayin’ with yeh_ ’. _All_ the time. Nearly every weekend.”

Alex couldn’t hide his grin. It were true. “Alreyt… I did… yeh did take care ‘o me quite a bit. Maybeh I just liked stayin’ with yeh…?”

“Yeah, that was probably it.” She shook her head and lay her head back against the couch again. Every time they did this, every time they reminisced, she ached. It brought back all the feelings she had from when she was a teenager. 

Alex sighed, still leaning up, but unable to look at her. Then he remembered something. “I remember… that bloke yeh used to date? Yehr first.”

Paige’s eyes widened and her cheeks burned bright, flush with embarrassment. “Yeah…”

“I remember bein’ in class and yeh _looked_ funny. ‘ad this stupid, dreamy look on yehr face.”

“That wasn’t a dreamy look. That was… _fucking pain_.” Paige deadpanned, recalling the time she lost her virginity.

“Aw that’s terrible.” Alex laughed, “He were ‘orrible weren’t he? Never liked him much.”

“Terrible.” Paige groaned about her once boyfriend. “He was nice enough though. But a complete fucking idiot.”

“You walked funny for a few days, I swear.”

“Shut up!” She cried and shoved him. “I did not!”

“Yeh did.” Alex snorted. “I were a bit jealous I fink.” 

“What you wanted to fuck him, too?” She teased him, her toes kicking at his shin. He swatted at her, but kept rubbing her foot anyways, absentmindedly.

“Nah… not like that. I ‘ad me girlfriend and all… it’s just…” Alex trailed off on his thought. 

“Oh come on! Just say it!” She urged him, “It’s been what… ten, twelve years? We are adults and I can totally handle whatever feeling’s you had about me and my first boyfriend. Who is now, might I add almost completely bald. At 29. Go figure.”

“I just…” Alex paused, wondering if he should keep going. “…always thought it shoulda been… well it shoulda been meh.”

Too late.

Paige’s heart thudded wildly, rattling against her rib cage. “What?”

Alex groaned, feeling like an idiot for admitting something he’d thought about and regretted since the day she told him she’d lost it to that jock idiot. “He just… he weren’t the reyt one for yeh. Weh coulda… it would’ve been, yeh know… weh could’ve just not been nervous together.”

Paige studied the soft features of his face, the sharp slope of his nose and the freckles on his lip that she always loved. “But I thought your first time was like… ‘fookin’ amazin’?”

Alex shrugged, chuckling. “It were alreyt. I might’ve been exaggeratin’ just a bit.”

“I knew it.” She grinned, and poked him in his chest. 

“I lied.” He confessed, his voice soft. “Didn’t ‘appen when I said it did. That’s why I told yeh not teh tell.”

“Why?”

“Because you _had_.” 

“So what?”

He shrugged. “Didn’t want teh be left behind.”

“That’s silly. You’re a silly boy. I didn’t care about that.”

“I know but it were like… yeh were alreadeh cooler than I were… and I felt like… yeh weren’t realeh mine anymore. After that.”

“I wasn’t ever _yours,_ Alex.”

“Not like that. But.” He didn’t know how to explain it. “Feel like a reyt dickhead for bringin’ it up now.”

“It’s alright…” She shifted closer to him. “Probably would’ve been better with you anyways. You’re soft. And sweet. And you probably had a better grasp on what you were doing…”

“I woulda been good to yeh, babeh.” Alex smirked, turning on that affected accent of his. She scoffed, rolling her eyes again. “I’m teasing. But, I would’ve.”

“I know.” She hummed, tangling her leg in his. He pulled her close, sighing against her. It felt like the old days so much his chest hurt. “Hey, remember when you got your white guitar for Christmas? And you rang me up straight away to gush about it?”

“The Fender Olympic Stratocaster.” Alex murmured, remembering that morning quite well.

“Yeah, that’s the one.” She giggled. 

“Loved that thing. Do yeh still ‘ave it?” He smiled thinking about the day he bought a black one and told Paige to hold on to his first guitar. He knew she’d keep it safe. Cherish it in a way he probably wouldn’t have back then.

Paige nodded, “Under the bed. I don’t want anyone to know I have it.”

Alex laughed, “Probably a good idea. That’s a piece of musical history.”

“Alex Turner; so modest. So humble.”

He laughed, “I’m happy yeh ‘ave it to be honest. That thing is just as much yours as it is mine. You should’ve been the fifth Monkey… all the rehearsals and gigs yeh showed up for.”

“I had to support you. My best friend was gonna be _famous_ one day.”

Alex kissed her head, “Y’always knew, didn’t yeh?”

“I’ll never forget the first time I read what you wrote. Couldn’t believe you were that clever.” She sighed, “Can’t believe it now. Feels sorta surreal. You being on my couch like this. Super famous rockstar hanging out with a mere peasant.”

“Mere peasant.” Alex chuckled, “Yeh’re far from a peasant, love.” He cast a sideways glance at her, the way she hung on to his every word. He felt that exact same way about her. “Besides. I love bein’ ‘ere with yeh. Even if it’s under the guise of a late-night, emotional booty call.”

There, he’d said it.

Paige was silent.

“I know what it is I do to yeh. I know. I’m sorreh. I were just… I’m always… dreamin’ of bumpin’ in teh yeh.” Alex murmured into the darkness. “Everywhere. Even back in LA. When I’m drunk… there’s no filter. I can’t hide. Liquid courage.”

“You do say and do an awful lot of things when you’re drinking.” A small smile crept onto her lips, despite her eyes full of tears.

“The things I say about yeh… they’re all true. Every word.”

Paige tried to breathe deeply, her chest hurting from too much smoke and word inhalation.

“And I know that I cuddled the fuck outta yeh last night.” He chuckled and Paige sniffled, laughing with him. “And it weren’t the bed I’d been dreaming of.”

Paige swallowed hard. Her throat suddenly very tight. Alex stared her down, his usually warm, chocolate eyes a deep, dark onyx, fixated on her with such intensity. Her chest heaved as she told herself to breathe evenly. Alex’s confession meant nothing. It was just. Another one of those things he said. Emotional booty call.

Alex knew she didn’t believe him completely; he could see it in the hints of green that flecked her hazel eyes. He knew that was why she’d stopped the kiss earlier; she didn’t trust herself to go any further because he’d take what he wanted from her and leave her like he always did. Traipsing back off to the States, shagging the first bird that batted her eyes at him. The truth was, that was rarely how it went. 

Paige had always been the one he wanted. 

It’d taken him the better part of his twenties to figure it out but he knew she was the one.

She kept searching his face for clues, for the ‘ah ha gotcha!’ that always followed something sentimental he told her. That was how they were, that was their schtick. It always had been. She kept waiting and waiting, but it didn’t come. Alex’s face was serious, and his eyes were sincere. She knew him well enough to know that if he was lying, his eyes would give him away. He couldn’t hide behind them; they were too expressive. And he had a terrible poker face. 

“Paige…” Alex said her name gently, shifting closer to her. 

“Alex…” She whispered, getting lost in the dreamy intensity of his eyes.

“Paige, I… there’s erm… there’s summat I’ve always wanted to do to yeh…” Alex murmured, their lips dangerously close to one another. 

“ _Do_ to me?” Paige breathed back, wondering what he could possibly be thinking.

Alex nodded, those eyes of his still searching, “Do yeh trust meh, Paige?”

“About as far as I can throw you,” She teased back easing the tension, surprised when he suddenly pressed his lips to the corner of her mouth, leaving a lingering kiss.

“I’m gonna take that insult and prove yeh wrong…” There was a mischievous twinkle in his eyes as he slid off the couch and down to his knees in front of her.

Paige sat up, suddenly hyper-aware of her surroundings and the determined look on her best friend’s face, “Alex… what the fuck?”

Alex ran his fingers through his hair and exhaled slowly, “I don’t know if I can explain… erm… will yeh just let meh… just… try…” His hands rested on her knees and he gently pushed her legs open, sitting forward to get closer to her.

Paige bit down on her thumb out of nervous habit. This wasn’t kissing. This wasn’t spooning or cuddling… _this_ was Alex on his knees before her, between her legs, and she didn’t know what to do.

“Paige…?” Alex gazed up at her with a sweet, hopefulness in his eyes. He wanted her to say yes, to give him permission to do what he’d been wanting to do for so long.

“This makes me nervous, Alex…” She whispered; scared but thrilled by the gentle touch of his hands on her legs. In her mind she knew she should shove him away; make a joke and brush it off… but her heart, and the definitive ache between her legs, said something completely different. 

“I know, I know…” Alex whispered, completely agreeing with her. “Logically… this makes… this is stupid… but… I just… I wanna do it… And,” He cleared his throat, “I don’t care about any kind of… reciprocation.” 

Paige covered her face with her hands, knowing she should say no… but she couldn’t. A part of her wanted to see what would happen, “Yes, okay…” She barely whispered and peeked through her fingers at Alex’s anxious little face.

“I promise yeh, yeh won’t regret it…” He assured her, his eyes going completely dark again, like he’d turned a switch.

She’d seen that look twice before; once when they were sixteen, and the other just a year ago; and it gave her such a buzz every time.

“I’m not high enough for this…” She whispered watching his hands as they travelled up her thighs to the waist of her jeans; his fingers deftly undoing the snap and sliding down the zipper. She was still peeking through her fingers, hesitant to completely participate just yet.

“I don’t want yeh teh be.” He drawled smoothly, “Raise yehr hips for meh, love…” Alex commanded softly, and Paige dropped her hands to the couch so she could lift herself up for him.

Alex slowly dragged her jeans over her bum, down her thighs, and off her legs. He slid her socks off with them as well, discarding the items to a pile beside him.

He sat up on his knees, taking a deep breath, nostrils flaring as his eyes raked over her body. He loved her body; he always had. Even way back when, he’d fantasize about her when he wanked; feeling a bit dirty and a little bit ashamed that his best friend’s body got him off. 

Paige’s fingers were clutching at the cushion of the couch, a nervous excitement coursing through her veins. Alex wanted to eat her out; no intoxicated kissing or making out… just straight to her pussy. She couldn’t even _remember_ the last time a guy went down on her….

Alex’s fingers danced up the inside of her thighs, tickling her, until they settled on her hips. He leaned forward, licking his lips before he pressed them to the fabric of her knickers. Paige’s hips jerked back in reaction and Alex glanced up at her with concern, stopping to make sure she was alright.

“Are y’okay?” He asked her.

Paige was going to lose her shit. Alex was peering up at her from between her legs with giant doe eyes, his warm breath blowing on her pussy as he spoke. He had no idea how many times she’d fantasized about his face between her legs. He had always been such a good kisser, she often imagined how good his mouth might feel elsewhere. She’d gotten off to the the idea of it so often that she almost felt like pinching herself to see if it was real. 

She nodded, barely squeaking out a breathy yes. 

His tongue flicked out, licking all the way up her slit as he kept his eyes on hers.

“ _Fuck_ ,” She breathed, feeling a rush of pleasure between her legs. Of course he was going to tease her; that was what he excelled at. As long as she’d known him, he loved to prank her, tease her, call her silly names, make her the butt of all his jokes… Her whole life she’d assumed he teased her because they were best friends and he considered her like one of the other lads; but in this moment, she got the impression that it was all a front. 

“Mmm,” Alex moaned, chuckling a little at her reaction to his mouth on her. She already tasted heavenly, and Alex was giddy with excitement; he’d wanted this for so long. If he was being honest with himself; he’d loved Paige since the moment he met her. And this moment felt surreal to him because as much as he wanted to make love to her; the desire to make her feel good with his mouth was much stronger. He didn’t even care if he got off, too; he just wanted to watch her gorgeous face as she came, and hear her moan his name. That was the one thing he’d wanted to hear escape those perfect lips of hers; it always had been.

He slid his tongue back and forth over her clit and she whimpered, her body practically melting into the couch. “Does it feel good, Paige?” He breathed against her, his voice sounding unusually deep and sexy.

She sucked in a long, shaky breath, “ _Yes_ …”

Alex smiled up at her, licking his lips slowly before kissing her just below her belly button. Her stomach contracted, anticipating the next touch of his lips on her skin.

“Fucking tease,” She whispered and Alex laughed, slipping his fingers into the waistband of her powder-blue bikini briefs.

He took his time dragging them down her legs, kissing and licking her all along the way. There was a scar on her right knee that had heeled from a bike accident when she was fifteen, and he stopped for a moment to kiss it a few times. He remembered her being out of school for nearly a week because she could barely walk. He’d spent every afternoon after school at her house, bringing her homework that he was supposed to be helping her with, but instead they always ended up watching telly and eating junk food. She’d been embarrassed by the fall and then subsequently the scar shortly after, but he’d always liked it. She once asked him if he thought it was ugly, and he assured her it just made her so much cooler.

Paige chewed on her lip while she watched him kiss that silly bike scar. She had no idea what was going on right now, and she was both terrified and thrilled.

Alex finally pulled her panties off, kissing the tops of her feet before spreading her legs open again. Paige’s legs were trembling and he rubbed the tops of her thighs in soothing circles. It was probably a gesture that was meant to relax her, but it was only turning her on more. only making her more high strung

“Paige… love, are y’alreyt? Yehr legs are tremblin’.” Alex asked her softly, like this was completely normal.

She was completely exposed now; her pussy on full display for her _best friend_. How could she not be nervous? “I know.” She whispered, unsure of what to say.

“Do yeh want meh to stop?” Alex asked, praying she wouldn’t say yes.

The part of her that was screaming at her that this was all a horrible idea was fading into the background; the years of love and affection and desire for Alex winning out.

“No.” She whispered to him, biting her lip even harder.

Alex caught the sparkle in her eyes, confirming that she wanted this just as bad as he did. “Good. ‘cause I don’t want teh stop.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the emotions you could every possibly want, all in one chapter. This isn’t the end, but we’re close.

“Good. ‘cause I don’t want teh stop.”

And with that he wet his lips and pressed them to her hipbone, bending her leg so he could kiss at the sensitive skin where it joined at her body. His tongue flicked out to lick her, tease her… build up the tension before he got to where he wanted to taste her most.

“The next time yehr legs get to shakin’ I want it to be because I made yeh cum so hard.” Alex murmured against her skin and Paige let a tiny gasp escape her lips. 

He smiled against her, his nose brushing against her folds, breathing her in. He brought his fingers to his mouth, sucking on them before stroking at her opening, reveling in how wet she was already. Alex swallowed hard, shifting on his knees, completely switched on by the night’s turn of events. Yesterday, he was only just imagining a naked Paige, and now here she was, half-naked with her legs spread for him. 

Talk about surreal.

“Yeh’re so wet, Paige,” Alex murmured, his fingers sliding back and forth so fluidly. “So wet for meh…” He leaned forward, sucking on her clit and she moaned, her hand flying to her mouth. Alex kept at it, his fingers rubbing against the swollen skin, not quite entering her just yet.

Paige was dying. She was in heaven, and he’d barely just begun. She wanted to scream, because she was nervous and excited and scared and- _fuck_. What was he doing?

Alex licked her in long, slow strokes; his tongue was a little rough and a lot of wet, and it dragged lazily across her, licking, licking, licking like an ice cream cone. And she was most definitely soft serve. 

“Yeh taste so sweet, babeh…” Alex’s deep voice buzzed through her and into her ears like electric shocks. “How come yeh taste so good?”

Paige groaned, her eyes on him as he lapped at her. His quick little tongue darted in and out, teasing her. His nose brushed against the coarse patch of hair, and he breathed in, moaning as he pressed his mouth closer, so eager for her. He slid his hands beneath her thighs, holding her open and bringing her closer to his face.

“You should-” but she stopped the minute she felt his teeth nibbling at her. It was exactly what she wanted and she had no idea how he knew. Maybe she’d confessed to it one night in a fit of drunken debauchery. The things they’d told one another…

"I know you like that Paige…” Alex murmured darkly, leaving her throbbing and wet as his lips traveled to the bend in her thigh, her body wound up and on high alert. “Yeh told meh once… you liked when your boyfriend nipped at yeh. Couldn’t get it out of me ‘ead. Wanked to the thought… pictured you writhing… moaning. The thought of some other guy tasting you drives me mad.”

Paige gasped; Alex jerked off to the thought of her. _What_. She whimpered, shifting her hips to get him to come back.

"Wot?” He looked up at her; his eyes dancing and twinkling. 

“Can you… I need…”

“You need me, eh?”

She groaned, covering her face again in embarrassment. This was all so beyond her wildest dreams…

“'ey…” Alex murmured, his roaming lips stilled. “Paige; look at meh.”

She peeked at him through her fingers, too afraid that he’d see the desire in her eyes. She wanted this. She wanted him so badly. But what happened after? The nagging thought gnawed away at her hunger for him, and against her better judgement, she ignored it.

“God, don’t look at me like that.” She whispered, his wide brown eyes full of too much emotion. 

“S’alreyt, Paige…” He whispered back, his lips just barely touching her. He reached for her hand, pulling it from her eyes and guiding it to the back of his head. 

“Jesus Christ…” She breathed, unable to stop her fingers from curling into his hair. Alex smirked at her before pressing his mouth back to her in an open-mouthed kiss. Paige moaned, arching her hips and pushing his head closer. He chuckled and she thought she was going to lose her mind. “So- _ohhh_ good…”

She grabbed the back of the couch, gripping the cushion hard as Alex thrust his tongue inside her. She knotted her fingers tighter in his hair, guiding his head as he licked her up and down. His tongue swirled and teased; long and short signals like a dirty transmission of morse code. She thought of all the times she’d watched him perform, the way his mouth would touch the mic, his nose brushing against it like it did to her now. He took his time, tasting every bit of her, his fingers holding down her hips, his thumbs gently stroking her.

Paige worked her hips against his mouth, holding his face as close to her as he could get. He hummed and moaned into her, his eyes closed as he licked her slowly. He had an incredible ability to create a slow-burn inside her, the ache building in the pit of her stomach. It wasn’t unlike their relationship outside of their friendship… all those times they’d messed around, when they know they shouldn’t; testing their limits. They’d been adding fuel to a fire that had no hopes of ever dying out. Even when they were apart, they still quietly stoked the embers, always hoping for something more.

She was euphoric, watching Alex between her thighs just like her favorite fantasy. “I wanna make yeh cum, Paige…” Alex drawled slowly, his voice soft and sexy. Her hips shook at the sound.

She whimpered softly, but coquettishly, scratching her fingers gently through his hair and lifting her hips a little more like a silent plea. He added his fingers then, licking them and slipping them inside her, curling them upwards to tease her. Alex pressed them into that rough little bundle of nerves, wiggling his fingers back and forth, kissing at her clit. He was so much better than she’d imagined, knowing all the things she liked before she knew she needed them. His fingers moved in and out, his tongue steady and assured, concentrating so hard on making her feel good. 

“C’mon love…” He breathed, glancing up at her, his eyes hooded and dreamy looking. Paige dragged her fingers through his hair over and over and over while she worked her hips against his hand, holding back from letting go just a little longer. She wanted to savor it, in case it was the last time.

“Paige…” Alex exhaled, his warm breath tickling her, making her hips jerk. “Don’t hold back, babeh…”

She whimpered, her willpower no match for his dumb, beautiful face and perfect mouth. He kissed her clit again, his tongue swirling simultaneously with the curl of his fingers and she let go with a soft cry, nearly silent as she pulled at his hair, her hips shaking erratically. Alex lapped at her, tasting her as she came for him. The intentional laziness of his mouth and the loose way he licked at her as she came down was enough to throw her over the edge again. But he was sitting up and wiping her arousal from his face with the back of his hand before she had the chance to recover. 

Alex kissed her knee as he slid her powder-blue panties back on, smoothing his thumbs across her hips before he let go. Not knowing what to do next, he sat back beside her on the couch, turning his head to watch her regain her composure through deep breaths. She looked beautiful. Her face was flushed and her eyes were bright and glossy… he wanted to see this face again. A million times over.

Paige was almost afraid to look at him so close now, afraid she’d start giggling or say something completely stupid to ruin the moment. She convinced herself that it was still Alex, still her best friend, the one person who knew all her secrets. 

Mustering up the courage, she turned her head to look at him, too. He smiled a lazy, slow grin at her and she giggled like she always did when he made that face. She couldn’t help it; it was her favorite smile of his. 

When the giggling subsided, she took a deep breath and said it. “Why did you do that?”

Alex swallowed, his expression suddenly very serious. “Because I’ve thought about it too much. Because I wanted to taste you. To see what yeh looked like when yeh came undone.”

Tears welled up in Paige’s eyes, unsure of how to respond to his words. She didn’t know what they meant and she was confused. This was worse than a stupid kiss. This was intimate. 

“Are yeh mad at meh, Paige?” He drawled softly, his eyes welling up too.

She closed her eyes tight, and shook her head. “I’m not mad.”

“Did yeh like it?”

She nodded, “Too much.”

//

He’d made a mistake. 

Paige announced she was going to bed a few moments later, without mentioning anything about where he was supposed to sleep. The couch it was, then. That was what he deserved, wasn’t it?

“Are you coming?” 

Alex looked up to see her in her bedroom doorway, ready for bed in a t-shirt and little else. He was confused. But he followed her anyways. He lingered in the doorway, watching as she crawled into bed. 

He softly slipped into the bathroom, brushing his teeth and splashing his face with water. “Yeh’re a fookin’ idiot, Turner.” He told his reflection before facing the music and opening the door. Paige looked small in the bed; leaning against the pillows with her knees bent. She watched him as he padded over, crawling in beside her. He sat up against the headboard, sort of wishing he’d settled for the couch. It was far too uncomfortable lying beside someone who was upset with you. 

“Look… I’m sorreh… I shouldn’t ‘ave done what I did. It were wrong… everything I’ve done to yeh ‘as been wrong,” Alex stammered his way through a series of apologies for all the dumb shit he’d done, but Paige wasn’t listening. 

She was fighting her own internal battles, had been since she’d made the conscious decision to let Alex go down on her. For every reason she wanted it to happen; she thought of a million more why it shouldn’t. But there was a feeling in her gut that she couldn’t ignore, so she gave in.

Silently, she pushed the covers back, and moved to his side of the bed, swinging her leg over to straddle his waist. Her heart was pounding so hard and so loud, it was a wonder it didn’t fly out and punch Alex square in the jaw. Sitting in his lap, her knees bent on either side of him, she took a deep breath and stared at him with wide, unblinking eyes. 

Alex wasn’t sure what was happening. He looked at her, trying to read what it was that she wanted. He’d always been so good at this, but maybe it’d been too long. 

“Paige…?” Her name got stuck in his throat the way peanut butter has a way of sealing itself to the roof of your mouth. He gingerly placed his hands on her hips; as if he hadn’t just been intimate with her not even an hour ago.

“I know…” She began timidly, rolling her words over on her tongue carefully; another one of Alex’s idiosyncrasies rubbing off on her. “I know you said no reciprocation… that you didn’t want anything in return…” She took a deep breath, her body very visibly shaking from the following confession; “… But I want you Alex. I’ve always wanted you.”

Paige’s eyes were full of tears and hopefulness and Alex felt his heart breaking. Why had they waited so fucking long? Why had they put themselves through a decade of bullshit just to find themselves here?

“I want yeh, too.” Alex admitted, gazing at her adoringly. He gripped her hips a little harder, her t-shirt bunching in his fingers. There wasn’t anything particularly special about her appearance on this very regular Saturday night, but Alex thought she’d never looked more beautiful.

“If we do this…” Paige said softly, her forehead creased with worry; “… we can’t ever go back.”

“I know.” Alex replied just as quietly. He’d been calculating and re-calculating the possible outcomes since the last time they kissed. Trying to figure out how it would all work.

“I’m terrifed.” 

“Me too.”

Paige giggled, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. “Off to a great start; I’m crying all over you. What a turn-on.”

Alex smiled, wide and genuine. “I’ve seen yeh worse then this.”

“You’ve seen me better, too.” Paige sniffed, shaking her hands to get out the nerves.

He shook his head, “Nah. Yeh look like me Paigey reyt now.”

She scrunched her nose up and leaned into him, pressing her face into his chest. “What do we do next?”

Alex kissed the top of her head, his nose pressed into her hair, breathing her in before he lifted her chin. He took her face in his hands, his eyes searching hers. “Yeh could let meh kiss yeh.”

“Okay.” She whispered, somehow more nervous than any of the other times. This was different; no drugs, no booze, no messing around. It was just the two of them, like it’d always been. 

He licked his lips slowly, their eyes closing as he pressed his lips to hers tenderly at first. He kissed at the corners of her mouth, the bow of her lip, his tongue flicking out just a little to tease her. She tried not to giggle, but she couldn’t.

“Knock it off, Paige…” Alex murmured into the kiss with a smile, “… this is a very serious thing weh’re doin’…”

She giggled again, “I know… I know it is…” 

Alex’s hands held her tighter, and she sighed, parting her lips so he could kiss her deeper. His breath was minty and cool, and Paige felt her muscles relaxing, her body thawing out as the nerves subsided. She felt boneless, like she was made of jelly, no skeleton to keep her from melting in his lap. The first time she felt like this with him was so long ago, but she still got the same sensations; feelings she’d been chasing, so desperate to recreate them.

His tongue tangled with hers, and Paige shifted in his lap excitedly. He teased her, acting like he was going to kiss her, before pulling away. He did it repeatedly, before Paige grabbed his face and growled, “Knock it off…” before kissing him so deeply that they lost their breath. She gripped the head board, moaning into his mouth and nibbling at his bottom lip, her hand moving between them to palm his erection through his briefs.

Alex suddenly paused mid-kiss and she asked him what was wrong. “Nothin’… just… thought about this a lot.”

“Me too…” Paige grinned against his mouth, kissing him hard while she continued to stroke him. Their moans were muffled as they pawed at one another, Alex struggling to yank her t-shirt over her head, groaning when he finally got to see her naked. 

“You’ve seen me naked before, what’s the big deal?” She laughed, while Alex kissed across the smooth skin of her chest, massaging her breasts into his hands, his thumbs at her nipples. 

His mouth took over where his fingers left off, “Not like this, Paige…” He moaned, all of his teenage fantasies bubbling to the service. He mumbled his adorations for her, how beautiful she was, how incredibly sexy, how good she tasted.

“Mmm… Alex…” She moaned as he licked and sucked love bites into her collar bone for her to discover later. He knew she’d hate it, but it would make her smile nonetheless. 

Paige flattened her palm against Alex’s cock, pressing it to his stomach before pulling the fabric of his briefs down just slightly. She inched forward on his thighs, enough so that she could rut her hips against him. Alex groaned when he felt how wet she was for him again, her arousal soaking through the fabric of her knickers. She held the headboard, slowly grinding in Alex’s lap, pressing her forehead to his as she watched his cock get harder between them.

“Does that feel good, Aly?” She teased him, his breath hitching with each swivel of her hips. He was sweating along his hairline, and she kissed him, moaning when he grabbed her ass, rocking her back and forth, angling her harder against his cock. 

“So fuckin’ good.” He groaned, leaning back to watch her. This was the sort of thing they would’ve done when they were younger, had they allowed it. His cock throbbed so hard it hurt, and he wanted nothing more than to bury himself deep inside her and make love to her the rest of the night. He ran his hands up her sides, squeezing her just below her breasts before holding her hips, feeling them swivel as she worked him. 

Paige couldn’t take her eyes off of him. The way he looked watching her, his eyes so intense but soft somehow. His hair was messy without an ounce of that product that turned him into the rockstar she had no connection to. Like this, he was her Alex. His cheeks slightly flushed, his breathing heavy as he held her. She leaned in to press her lips to his, to taste him; slow, lazy kisses. How many nights she’d dreamed of this…

The sounds of her moans while they made out got the best of Alex, and the gentle kissing became intense and heavy, and her breath hitched when he pulled at her hip, wrapping his arm around her and guiding her down to the bed. The urgency to laugh at their nerves had ceased as they dove head-first into a moment that would alter the course of their lives forever. Alex stripped them of their last articles of clothing, coming to rest between between her thighs, their bodies pressed tight together. He caressed her hip bone and dragged his fingers down to her thigh to hitch it up over his waist. 

Paige inhaled shakily. This was it.

“‘ey…” He made eye contact with her, kissing her gently, “Weh’re alreyt…”Alex assured her as his fingers stroked her clit lazily. Paige nodded, her hands at his shoulders, and then locked behind his neck as he guided himself inside her. 

She gasped, her fingers knotting in his hair as he filled her up. Alex’s sigh turned into a moan as he sunk deeper, his hips meeting hers. He kissed at her top lip, breathing into her as he stilled, the magnitude of this moment in time not lost on either of them. 

“Paige…” He whispered, unsure if he should continue.

Paige nodded, pecking at him gently. “Keep going.” 

His hand found hers, and he laced their fingers together, lifting their arms to rest over her head. Shifting his weight, he leaned over her, slowly slipping out and sliding back in. Paige’s leg stayed locked over his hip and she pulled him in closer on the next thrust. Alex peered at her through his long eyelashes, and she grinned, “I’m not gonna break, I swear.”

His eyes widened for a second before he mirrored her smile and brushed his nose against hers, kissing her deeply. She moaned into his mouth and he let go, grinding his hips into hers, the bed moving beneath them. Laughing, she squeezed his hand tighter and kissed his knuckles before letting go and winding her arms around his neck. 

“Make love to me, Alex.” 

//

Sunday evening felt like Fridays back when they were kids. 

The guys were playing darts and downing pints; loud and boisterous and taking the piss out of one another, Paige fluttering amongst them as they called her over for this and that. Alex had asked her to come and see them off before they headed to Manchester to catch a red-eye back to Los Angeles. It was short notice, and it was the first time Alex didn’t want to leave. He hated the thought of disappearing on her again, running from the feelings he’d struggled so desperately to suppress for so long. 

He watched her laugh with Helders, wondering if she looked like that when she laughed at him. Her smile was his favorite thing in the whole world. And her laugh was infectious; it always had been. Even now, he chuckled along with a joke he wasn’t remotely a part of because she’d compelled him. The other guys didn’t know what had happened between them. He hadn’t seen them long enough to share, having spent the rest of the day with Paige. She’d gone with him to see his mum and dad, and hung out while he did his laundry and let his mom dote on him.

_“You’re pathetic.” Paige teased him when Penny set about cooking one of his favorite meals._

_“Am not.” Alex scoffed, “Me mum loves meh and she wanted to make me summat special.”_

_“Using your poor mum for her washing machine and getting a meal out of the whole thing. Pathetic.”_

_“Shut up, you.” Alex snarled playfully, his hand squeezing her thigh beneath the counter. He stared at her for a moment too long, their faces flushed recalling the previous night’s events._

_“Nearly thirty and yeh two can’t knock it off…” Penny clicked her tongue, smiling at them conspiratorially. They had fans. Nearly everyone wanted them together. His mum especially._

_“You’re son is terrible to us, Penny. Breezing right through town like the rockstar that he is.”_

_“I know. It’s the ol’ love ‘em and leave ‘em trick.” Penny chuckled, and Alex looked at Paige._

_“Set myself up for that one, didn’t I?” She whispered, laughing darkly. He shook his head and held her hand beneath the table. That wasn’t how it was going to be._

His mum hadn’t known that was she’d said had hit them both so close to home; but it was a thought they both couldn’t shake the rest of the afternoon and into their night out. Alex recalled the many nights the five of them had hung out in the bar; how many bands they’d seen and how many times they’d had to help each other get home. He remembered how many times he’d had to have his attendance in the women’s room excused to hold Paige’s hair back when she’d had too much to drink; and how many bloke’s he had to confront to leave her alone. He’d been scrappy back then, in his over-sized track jackets and sneakers.

Alex really, _really_ didn’t want to leave this time. Seeing Paige and his best mates laughing the way they were, like old times, it made him so happy. It felt good to be home; they were always in better spirits here. But the responsibility of the last leg of the tour loomed like a fat grey raincloud. 

//

“I fink Jameh ‘ad a birfday ‘ere once.” Alex chuckled, realizing himself that when he was at home and around locals, his accent got thicker. Sometimes he hated the way it changed and mixed with American slang back in the States.

Paige looked over her shoulder at the rundown roller rink. The outlandish seventies graphics on the front of the building faded with time and years of neglect. “I think you’re right.”

Alex lit a cigarette as they waited for the cab to come and take them the hour drive to Manchester. The other guys were still inside, but he’d wanted to say goodbye to Paige alone.

She watched him light it, looking cooler than ever. He was almost back to looking like the guy she’d picked up on the front steps of an old woman’s home in the wee hours of Saturday morning. His hair wasn’t slicked back yet, but he was back in his dark jeans and dress shirts; his sunglasses at the ready. As he blew smoke rings into the air, Paige desperately longed for the Alex of twenty-four hours ago; her best friend in his faded jeans and old t-shirt.

“Show off.” She smirked and Alex laughed, this time pulling her against him instead of draping his arm over her shoulders. 

She sighed and nestled herself against his chest, letting him hold her while he smoked, her head against his shoulder. He tossed the cigarette, barely finishing it, and hugged her close.

“Dun’t wanna leave yeh, Paigey.” He whispered, rocking her in his arms. 

“I don’t want you to, either.”

Alex gazed up at the smattering of stars above their heads, knowing that in a few hours he’d be looking at the same set of stars in a very different sky. “Think anyone would notice if I ran away?”

Paige laughed, “It might be awfully suspicious if the lead singer just up and disappeared.”

“But would they _miss_ me?”

“Not as much as I’m going to miss you.” Paige said softly, sighing heavily as she fought back tears. This was the part she had been dreading when they talked about how things were going to change between them forever. Because for all the things that _did_ change; so many of them didn’t. Alex was still Alex Turner of the Arctic Monkeys and she was still just Paige; twenty-something writer-slash-peasant. All the reasons why they couldn’t be together were flashing in front of their faces like giant neon signs on the Vegas strip. 

Alex lifted her chin, stroking her cheek with his thumb. “I’m gonna miss yeh so much, Paige.” His hands were cool and his eyes were a mess of emotions. “Wish I could take yeh with meh.”

“You can’t. We both know that.”

“I know, Paige. Yeh don’t ‘ave teh-”

“It was stupid to think this would work.” She said with a sigh. “I love you too much, and I want you too much.” She inhaled shakily, “But you are you. And I am me.”

“What’s that supposed teh mean?” Alex was confused, and heartbroken. Why the sudden switch? He thought… well. He didn’t know what he thought. He hadn’t thought much beyond how good it felt waking up beside her in bed that morning; how much he loved the way she snuggled up against his chest. Or how much he loved the way she clung to him when she came for him. All he knew was that he wanted all of that forever and ever. For the rest of his life.

And now.

“You gotta go do your thing.” Paige said softly. “And I don’t mean that in a malicious way. It’s. You can’t be on tour and have your head here with me.”

“It’s not me ‘ead that’ll be ‘ere, Paige. Don’t yeh understand?”

She fingered the lapels of his leather jacket, knowing that there was a tear in the red satin lining near the left arm where he’d gotten it snagged on a hook. She knew so many things. So much history. “Alex. You’re my best friend. And I am so in love with you. But I can’t be in your life. You might as well live on Mars; your world is so vastly different from mine.”

“Don’t be a martyr.” He snapped, upset and frustrated.

“Don’t give me an attitude when you know full well that I am right. Me letting you go is doing you a favor. Trust me.”

“Doin’ meh a favor? That’s some fookin’…” He struggled with his words, blinded by his anger and the real tears in his eyes. “It’s fookin’ bullshit, Paige and yeh know it. Yeh’re tryin’ teh make meh ‘ate yeh reyt now and I can’t. I refuse.”

Paige laughed, tears in her eyes. “Just pretend it’s working okay?”

“C’mon, love… don’t…” 

Just over his shoulder, she saw the other boys coming out of the pub, laughing in the distance. “It’s time. You’ve gotta get going now.”

“No.”

“Oh knock it off.” She rolled her eyes, trying to pull herself from his grasp, but his hold on her was too strong.

“Stop it. I’m not leavin’ yeh like this.” Alex argued, struggling to keep his hold on her.

“Why not? You’ve done it before.” She stuck her chin out defiantly, but her lip was quivering. Alex could see it. She wasn’t nearly as tough as she pretended to be.

“I fuckin’ _love you,_ Paige. I am _in love_ with you. I don’t want to leave like this.”

She didn’t have anything to say. What could she say? He still had to go regardless. A few tears and a kiss weren’t enough to keep him. He had a job to do. So all she managed was a pathetic shrug.

Alex’s shoulders dropped, his heart breaking into a thousand pieces. “I don’t care if yeh want teh try and push me away.” He told her under his breath, “I’m still in love with you and I’m still gun’ teh kiss yeh goodbye. And yeh can struggle and fight meh but I’m still gonna do it.”

When Alex gathered her up into his arms, she didn’t struggle. She gave in, allowing herself this one last kiss with him. It was deep. And good. Lingering. He tasted like cigarettes and Guinness and like a thousand years of history flying at warp speed towards her. He felt like home and now her home was leaving her.

She threw her arms around his neck and buried her face there, holding him like she never wanted to let go. And for a moment Alex considered walking away from it all forever. If it meant he could be with her… he would do it.

Paige didn’t want to watch him walk away from her, but she did. She had to. To make it real.

//

“Did yeh just… did yeh kiss Paige, just now?” Jamie asked Alex as he stalked towards the van, hiding his tears behind a pair of dark shades. The guys had all seen it. Or what they assumed was an embrace, but Alex and Paige had always been weird about that kind of thing, so they were never sure.

“Yeah. I did.” He muttered thickly as he hoisted himself up into the van, disappearing into the farthest corner, with what was clearly, no desire to converse with anyone whatsoever.

//

When Paige got home that night, she burst into tears as soon as her door was closed behind her. She kept it up until she climbed into her bed, sobbing and puffy and exhausted. She pulled the sheets over her head, the ones that still held his lingering scent, and clutched her pillow. Beneath it, was the t-shirt of his that she’d kept for so long. 

He’d given it back.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been six months since chapter four. And I’ve had this written for about four of those months. You can consider this one the beginning of the end of their story…
> 
> Enjoy xx

_“It was stupid to think this would work.” She said with a sigh. “I love you too much, and I want you too much.” She inhaled shakily, “But you are you. And I am me.”_

Alex jerked awake from a deep sleep. He shivered, his body covered in a cold sweat. Sighing, he rolled over and curled up; yet another night with another dream about Paige. He tucked his arm beneath his head, trying to will his heart to stop racing. They weren’t all bad dreams, but most of them were. The majority of them were her telling him they could never be together. Roughly fifteen percent were dreams of them as a couple; happy, loving each other, making love to each other… those ones were the nightmares. 

They made him hurt too much.

After they’d said goodbye that night in Sheffield, things went back to… normal. Normal in the sense that Alex tried texting her to remind her how he felt, that this _could_ in fact work, but every time, Paige either ignored him or changed the the subject. It was absolutely gutting him. They hadn’t seen a lot of each other in the past few years, but their relationship had never been _this_ strained. He’d told her they were okay that night; why didn’t she believe him?

The last leg of the tour was particularly grueling. It started off alright after a quick recharge at home, but they’d been touring AM for well over a year, and they were all exhausted. Alex could see it in his own reflection; the late night shows, the after-parties; they were all taking their toll on him. But he was good. So good. An absolute angel. It didn’t matter whether or not there were other women around; because the only one on his mind was Paige.

“Maffew…” Alex murmured softly, late one night after a show in Salt Lake City. Matt was sprawled out on his stomach on the hotel room bed adjacent to Alex’s. He looked up from his phone, where he was likely texting his girlfriend back home. “Can yeh show meh… erm…” He gestured to his phone pathetically. 

Matt hid his smile. Normally, he would’ve teased him, but they all knew he was hurting. A heartbroken Alex had never been their favorite. Had it made for some quality love songs? Definitely. But they came from a deep, dark place inside their best friend and that had always killed them. “Sure, Al…” 

“Just. Wanna know… how to send stuff. Like. Good pictures and fings like tha’. Terrible at it.”

“Y’are.” Matt agreed teasingly, but when Alex sat beside him on the bed, he gave him a good lesson. “Is this for O’Hare?” He asked him, referring to Paige by her last name like he always had, since the day he’d met her. She was always O’Hare and he was always Helders, and it would never be any different.

“It’s alreyt if it is… just two best friends sending each other moments from their lives.” Matt was gentle with Alex, even though they both knew that Alex loved her more than as a friend. They all knew about the rejection. And none of them could understand it. After all, they’d made all their own relationships work long-distance. But none of them were like Alex. A frontman is much, _much_ different than a bass player or a drummer. It was just fact. His sex symbol status was far beyond any of their comprehension, whether Alex asked for it or not.

Alex took a deep breath, shrugging. His voice was deep and measured,“Tomorrow weh’ll beh at Red Rocks… Paige always wanted to go there. Erm… thought she might wanna see the world outside of Sheff.” 

//

Paige had thrown herself back into writing. Lucky for her, whenever she was upset, she ignored everything and everyone and soon she was far surpassing all her deadlines. It was depressing when she really thought about it, but what else did she have? She missed Alex. Terribly. But she’d never known any other feeling. This was how it always was. He’d come and see her, say goodbye, and leave her for months at a time. But he _was_ texting her more. Way more than he ever did. Especially when he’d first left for the states. He’d professed his love a dozen times, assured her that it could work, but she wouldn’t give in. 

And someone must’ve taught him how to take selfies as well, because she got a lot of those, too. They were awkward and from terrible angles, but they made her laugh and her heart swell. They were goofy and silly; a glimpse of the boy she used to know. He sent her photos of everything. The guys backstage. Scenes from the airplane. Panoramas of the beach. A video from the top of the Red Rocks Amphitheater…

_“You remembered!” She messaged him back after watching the video several times. “Is it as cool as I always dreamed it would be?”_

_“Cooler.” Alex texted back with a grin, telling her all about the gig that night and how incredible the sound was there._

Every photo, every video… It felt like she was right there on tour with him. And she saved every single thing he sent her.

//

“The tour looks pretty fun… doesn’t it?” Paige asked Penny one evening before they were to have supper. She’d taken to visiting Penny and David more often than she ever had. Almost more than her own parents. Subconsciously, it was to be closer to Alex. They all knew it.

“It does.” Penny agreed, looking over Paige’s shoulder at another article with another spread of live photos. “I like that one of Alexander and Jameh…” She pointed to the screen, where the two of them looked to be performing dueling guitar solos. 

Paige grinned, “I like it, too.” 

Penny left her to check on the food and Paige clicked through more photos. The close-ups of Alex showed the rings under his eyes and she traced them with the tip of her finger, frowning. “Do you think Alex is… okay?”

Penny hummed, pushing her glasses up off her face and into her hair when she opened the oven. Although she wasn’t completely aware of what had happened between her son and his best friend, she had an inkling; Mother’s intuition or something like that. 

“I fink he’s alreyt… probably just tired. It’s been a long tour for ‘em. And maybeh he just misses home…”

Paige watched her with concern in her eyes, nodding at what she said and looking back at the screen. “Yeah… you’re probably right.”

The only sound in the kitchen was Paige’s finger on the keyboard as she went through dozens of photos of Alex and the boys, each one more spectacular than the last. He looked amazing, _tired,_ but amazing. “His hair is long,” She commented softly, “looks sort of like Dracula.”

“Always wanted a vampire for a son.” Penny mused, asking Paige if she wanted wine.

She laughed, “Definitely. I think I need it.”

“I think yeh do, too.” 

Paige couldn’t help the way she looked at him. She knew what he looked like beneath the jeans and t-shirt now, and she always knew what he was like beneath the facade. His personas were a way to keep people out; lovely little walls he’d built up to protect himself. 

Penny studied her from the corner of her eye, noting the way she talked about Alex now. She’d always had the biggest soft spot for her son, but ever since that afternoon when they’d been here together last; something had changed. 

It was just the two of them that night, and Penny thought to herself that tonight was as good a night as any to try to talk some sense into Paige. She’d been like a daughter to her ever since Alex and her were inseparable teenagers with terrible haircuts and spots, all awkward limbs and angst. 

“He looks skinnier.” Paige mentioned, halfway through her salad. “And I miss what his hair used to look like without gel.”

“Me too!” Penny smiled, “Me son who ‘as the most gorgeous curls, hides ‘em wiv buckets of grease! I never liked that.”

“Me neither.” Paige smiled, agreeing with Penny and then instantly regretting the next thing she said. “When he was home, I got to see him without it.”

Ah. There it was. Penny smiled into her napkin and took another sip of wine. “Did yeh two spend a lot of time together then?”

Paige swallowed thickly, feeling like a teenager again under the magnifying glass at a Turner/O’Hare family dinner. “Um… well. Sorta.” She pushed her food around on her plate now, “He was only here for the weekend. Friday and Saturday he stayed with me.”

Penny nodded, “Did he behave himself?”

Her eyes went wide and she giggled nervously, “Behave? Like…?”

Penny shrugged, a coy smile on her face.

“ _Penny_!” Paige shrieked, her face turning a thousand shades of red. “Why would you. Ask that. Who. What do you know?” She nearly tore her hair out of her head in exasperation and embarrassment, as if this were the first time they’d talked about sex in their lives. Penny was like her own mum, and she’d had plenty to say when they were growing up.

_“Paige O’Hare… yeh better watch out runnin’ around wiv all them lads at them shows… Alexander David… watch out for ‘er… make sure she’s safe!”_

_Alex snickered, scratching at the sticky mess of hair on his head. It stuck up in all different directions, about as high as the collar on his Polo shirt. “Make sure she dun’t get knocked up, yeah?”_

_“ALEX!!” Both Paige and Penny yelled at him and he rolled his eyes._

_“I’m fookin’ jokin’.” He swung his arm around Paige’s shoulders as she tried to pull away reluctantly,”I’ll watch out for ‘er. Take good care of me lil’ Paigey.”_

_“Oh fuck off, Turner. I can take care of myself.”_

Penny held her hands up in mock-defense. “I don’t know anythin’! I were just wonderin’ if he treated yeh well when he were ‘ere and not like some shite rockstar; cocky and full of himself.”

“Alex… isn’t like that.”

“No, he’s not. But… he can beh a dickhead when he wants teh beh.”

Paige chuckled, “You’re right. I know. But… no… he wasn’t…” Her eyes got distant when she thought about how adorable he was the night she found him drunk on someone else’s doorstep. She wouldn’t tell Penny that, though. Or anything else… “He was good to me.”

“Thas all I care about!” Penny threw her hands up, “That boy loves yeh very much. He probably doesn’t tell yeh all the time because he’s a boy… but. He does.”

She blinked the tears from her eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat. “I know. I’m his best friend.”

Penny looked at Paige, and knew then that something more had happened between the two of them; and she wasn’t going to give up anymore information. “Whatever he did… he didn’t mean it.” She assured her, placing her hand over Paige’s.

She shook her head, “Alex didn’t do anything, Penny. I swear.”

//

That December, Alex went home to see his folks for the holidays. Typically, all their families got together and had a big party, but this year, everyone was doing their own thing. Including Paige.

Alex was miserable. 

“So… yeh’re not even gonna beh ‘ere for Christmas…? Paige… but weh always…” Alex had called her this time, the minute he got to his parent’s house. “Yeh didn’t even tell meh.”

Paige took a deep breath, peeking out the window of her aunt’s house at the snow falling outside. It was beautiful; thick and white. “Sort of, last minute.”

“Yeh’re avoidin’ meh, Paige. And I fookin’… I ‘ate it.” He sighed, collapsing onto the bed in his old room. “I wanted teh see yeh and go to the pub and… I…” He looked over at the gift he’d gotten her, still not wrapped, but waiting patiently for it. 

“I’ll see you soon.” She said softly, her breath fogging up the window. His voice sounded so nice, so familiar. 

“When? When will yeh be back?”

Her lips ached. She wanted to kiss him. 

“In a few days. I’m here for a week.”

Alex growled and fell back on the bed, “ _Paige._ I’m gonna beh gone by then. I’m disappointed. Alreyt?”

“First Christmas in… well. Ever.”

“Ever.” Alex repeated, picking at the pulls in the blanket beneath him. He still had his jacket on. It still had droplets of water from the melted snow outside. His mum would yell at him for wearing his boots inside. “Found out when I got to me folks. Called yeh straight away.”

Paige’s heart felt heavy, and she dug her thumb into the wood frame of the windowsill. “Still got your jacket on I bet.”

Alex laughed his silly little goat laugh and her heart soared; immediately changing it’s tune. “I do.”

“Sheffield Wednesday scarf?”

“You are correct.” Alex grinned, pulling it from inside his jacket where it was tucked and sliding the buttons of his peacoat through his frozen fingers.

She smiled on the other end at the sound of his deep drawl, and his thick accent. “You should probably take those boots off before Penny yells.”

Alex’s laugh caught in his throat before it even had a chance to make it out, and he clutched his chest. “Unbelievable ‘ow yeh know.”

“Well… I know you.”

//

The guys were all home, too, but Alex didn’t feel much like being social. He was still exhausted from the end of the tour and he was depressed. He was hoping that he could convince Paige over the holidays that they could do this. Especially now that the band was officially taking a few years to rest. He could see her whenever he wanted now. They could spend all time in the world together. 

He sighed loudly, stretched out on the couch after another cat nap when Penny came in. “Alex… another nap?”

He mumbled something incoherent and sat up, scratching his head, not even bothering to fix it like he’d been doing for the past year with the comb in his back pocket. “M’tired, mum.”

She gave him a look, “Yeh didn’t come ‘ome for the holidays to mope. Yeh came teh see meh, and yehr father and I need yeh to look alive.”

He sneered, and Penny hid her smile, thinking how he’d made that face nearly his entire life. He still looked like her little boy with his soft blonde hair and wide smile. A smile she hadn’t really seen in ages.

“I know yeh’re upset Paige isn’t ‘ere this year, but yeh can’t do anythin’ about it.” 

“Not upset.”

Penny rolled her eyes, completely over the charade. “Alexander. Enough is a enough. I am not deaf, dumb, and blind. Yeh’ve been in love wiv Paige since yeh were fifteen.”

Alex went to open his mouth in protest, but she held her hand up to stop him.

“Now. I don’t know exactly what went on between the two of yeh, yeh’ve both always been so secretive. But I know what Paige looked like when yeh were both ‘ere in September, and I know what she’s looked like since yeh left. And it’s different than the way she looked when yeh’d leave her before.”

Alex swallowed that softball-sized lump in his throat he couldn’t seem to get rid of for months. He was getting lectured from his mother and everything she said about Paige was like a knee to the gut.

“I realeh ‘ope yeh didn’t do anythin’ to ‘er. She said yeh didn’t but… could be lyin’ to protect yous or summat. I dunno. Whatever it is, yeh need teh fix it. I don’t like this at all. Yeh’re grown adults and this—”

“I told her I’m in love wiv her, mum.” Alex exhaled softly, his throat prickling as if the words were laced with poison and difficult to swallow.

Penny’s expression immediately softened, her eyes watering. “Oh…?”

“And she said she loves meh, too… but. That weh’re too different teh beh together… Which doesn’t make any sense…” Alex’s chest felt so tight, and he felt so foolish admitting this to his mum, but he’d always been a mama’s boy. “I don’t know what teh do. She joost. Ignores it like nothin’ ‘appened that weekend. And it’s guttin’ meh, mum. I feel sick _all the time_.”

Alex would be twenty-nine in less than two weeks. But sitting there on the couch in the living room where she’d watched him grow up, he looked very small and very helpless, and very much like a young boy. Penny’s heart was broken in two. For the both of them.

“I joost, don’t know what teh do.”

“Oh, my love.” She said softly, and sat down beside him. Alex instantly laid his head on her shoulder and let her hug him. He closed his eyes when her hand brushed over his hair. “I’m sorreh, love. I didn’t know… I thought… I don’t know what I thought, realeh.”

Alex sighed heavily, feeling exhausted all over again. “Whatever she wanted, mum, I’d give it to ‘er. I’ve been in love wiv her since the day I met ‘er. I’ve been a fookin’ fool but… I know it now.”

//

“Weh’ve gotta discuss this Grammy’s thing,” their manager’s voice crackled over Jamie’s cellphone which balanced precariously on top of empty beer bottles arranged in a triangle like billiard balls. 

The four of them were all gathered around the table in Alex’s backyard, together again back in Los Angeles for his twenty-ninth birthday. It was an oddly cool Tuesday evening, and the water in the pool was still from no activity. Only the wind blew ripples across it every few minutes or so. Their other friends and respective wives and girlfriends were inside while they took the call, preparing for dinner on the grill when the conversation was through.

“Yeh’ve got a few nominations for the album; Best Rock category is pretteh massive. I know yeh lads are completely against award shows, but you should probably attend this one.” The boys all laughed a little except for Alex who sat there with his arms and legs crossed, his lips pursed, eyebrow raised as he processed what he was hearing.

“Yeh’re not finkin’ weh should go… are yeh, Al?” Nick asked him, amusement in his eyes just like the other guys. It was completely out of character for them to attend. 

Alex pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, staring blankly ahead, “I dunno, maybeh weh should do this one.”

All of them were shocked; Alex hated the award shows more than anything. He didn’t believe in accolades for talent, thought it was rubbish. 

“Seriously?” Matt asked him, finishing off the last of his beer.

“I dunno… Don’t yeh fink it’s about time weh started respectin’ ourselves more? Show ‘em that weh’ve grown and all that?” Alex looked at them all expectedly, each one of them in the eyes. “This was a big album for us. I dunno…”

“Al, weh’re in.” Jamie grinned, swallowing a heavy gulp of beer. “It’s the fookin’ Grammy’s yeah? This is a big one.”

Alex smiled back, settling into his seat once again. “So it’s settled, mate. Weh’re goin’.”

Their manager laughed in disbelief, not expecting to win this one so quickly. “Yeah? Well alreyt then. You lads better decide where yeh’re keepin’ this one if yeh do win.”

//

**3:17 am**

**A:** You up??

Paige was in fact, up. But that was because she’d been having trouble sleeping as of late. “Jesus fucking Christ Alex…” She grumbled, trying to calculate what time it was in Los Angeles. Eight in the evening. She sighed, knowing full well she shouldn’t but also… she was a glutton for punishment and couldn’t help herself.

 **P:** Do you have any idea what time it is?

 **A:** Yeah it’s 3 in the morning and I had a feeling you were awake. 

**A:** Also it’s me birthday so I can do whatever I want. 

**P:** I’m rolling my eyes.

 **A:** I know it. But I have something important to ask you

Heart racing, Paige clutched her pillow tighter. He really had to stop doing these kinds of things in the middle of the night.

 **P:** What are you up to now?”

 **A:** We’re going to a very important award show, the lads and I and I want you to come too.

Paige laughed out loud. The only award show coming up was,

 **P:** The fucking GRAMMYS??

 **A:** that’s the one

 **P:** Since when did you lot start attending award shows?

 **A:** Since Cookie realized he had some extra space in his fridge.

He’d gotten her again. Her cheeks were burning from smiling. 

**P:** HAHAHAHA 

**P:** Imagine that. A Grammy sat right next to the bottle of Henderson’s.

 **A:** exactly. so you’re coming. 

**A:** I won’t take no for an answer.

 **P:** idk… 

**A:** I got you a ticket already. Non-refundable. You have 3 weeks to decide. 

**P:** Alex…

 **A:** I miss you. Come spend a few days with me in LA. I promise I’ll behave.

 **P:** You don’t know how to behave. 

She laughed at the numerous emojis he sent her, angry at herself for missing him so badly. If she wasn’t so stubborn…

 **A:** 3 weeks. Good night Paigey xx


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy! It’s been a whole ass year since the last chapter, but here’s part six. It’s a little bit fluffy and a little nsfw, and I think there’s gonna be one more after this one! Cheers!
> 
> Lauren xx

Paige’s flight didn’t land until nearly midnight, and she barely slept. Even with the first class seat Alex had booked her, there was absolutely no room for her nerves _and_ proper sleep. One of them edged out the other, leaving her to sit wide awake and eat her complimentary meals and beverages while she watched back-to-back movies. When the sixth hour approached, she finally gave in and took something to help her pass out. The jet lag was already going to annihilate her, but she didn’t want to look _and_ feel fucking horrible upon arrival. 

She envied the people around her who’d been sleeping for hours. The woman in the seat nearest her had her little eye mask and her little blanket and the most content smile on her face. Paige wanted that. Instead she couldn’t decide if she was hot or cold, or if her hair felt better up or down, and she kept mentally going over the list of things she packed to make sure she didn’t forget anything. Not that it mattered now, she was already halfway to California. 

“You’re a fool. If you forgot something, you can just get it there. It’s not like you’ll be in the middle of the woods.” She was now talking to herself in a hushed whisper, headphones jammed into her ears with nothing playing.

Her biggest concern and the source of all her anxiety though, was how things were going to be when she finally saw Alex. Penny had told her before she left that no matter what happened, Alex loved her either way. And that he’d been in love with her his entire life, whether he admitted it or not. It was both comforting and gut-wrenching. She was the one who’d pushed him away, not her. Because of what? Why? 

“Because you’re afraid.” She whispered, eyes narrowing at the screen in front of her as the little icon of their plane moved across the ocean. “You’re afraid you’re not good enough for him. You’re afraid he’ll fall in love with someone else. You’re afraid of a long-distance relationship. You’re afraid if things don’t work out you’ll lose your best friend. You’re a fucking coward and you’re terrified of letting yourself be happy.”

Twelve hour flights alone were clearly not a good idea in a time like this. It was like there were two opposing versions of herself trying to confuse her; one of them encouraging her to give in and just be in love because the present was all that mattered; and the other heavily convincing herself that she was an idiot for being in love with her best friend who was also a famous musician. The latter kept bringing up things she’d rather not think about. Like how this would be her first time in California visiting him because he was a serial monogamist. And how he’d always chosen whomever he was dating over his best friend. How he’d only call her when he was high and profess his love for her. His perpetual emotional booty call. 

“SHUT UP!” She hissed rather loudly, her eyes wide as she looked over her shoulder to see if anyone had heard her. 

“But he loves you. He said he did. And he’s always treated you differently than everybody else. He knows everything about you. And he’s a really good kisser. He was your first kiss! And you’re so good together! Conversations are easy and he makes you laugh and the sex was really, really good.”

She snorted. “You really are an idiot. A moonstruck idiot. Go to sleep.”

Alex went to the airport to pick her up alone. He didn’t believe in that bodyguard twenty-four-seven shit; especially not now in the middle of the night. He arrived early for once in his life and parked his car in the pick-up lot, finding a good spot to have a cigarette before heading in.

It had been three weeks of nonsense in his brain as he waited for Paige to make a decision. He kept on texting her like he normally did, sending her photos as the date got closer to thoroughly entice her to come out there. Even if things were shit, maybe she could still enjoy the weather. But his mum had assured him that wouldn’t be the case. In the end he was happy he’d confided in her… maybe she’d talk to Paige on the sly and convince her that he was madly in love with her and wanted to marry her and give her gorgeous little babies.

He smiled at the thought, wondering when it was that he started imagining such a solid future with her, and not just what it’d be like to kiss her whenever he wanted and to taste her and make love to her. And then he scolded himself for getting his hopes too high. “She could joost give yeh the cold shoulder, Al…” He murmured to himself as he paced the sidewalk, the gravel beneath his black boots crunching. “Or… she could throw her arms around yeh and tell yeh that she wants to be with yeh forever, too.”

Neither of them sounded quite like Paige; both were too… extreme. He would be happy with something somewhere in the middle. God-willing. His phone vibrated in his front pocket, and he fished it out, cigarette dangling from his lips. 

**P:** you up?

Alex grinned at her sarcastic little dig. His Paigey.

 **A:** Fucking hell. You’re arriving today?!

 **P:** fuck off and come get me 

Grinning, he stomped out his cigarette and jogged across the street into the coolness of the airport. He still didn’t know how he was going to react when he saw her, but he figured he’d go with his gut and let it ride. 

Sometimes when Paige hadn’t seen him in awhile, she forgot how slight he was. When she spotted him at arrivals, she immediately wanted to hug him. He wore a plain black t-shirt and skinny black jeans and his hair was somewhere between slicked back and brushed back but without any visible gel. It was long. She liked it. 

And he looked beyond exhausted. They were the same in that way.

“Hey you,” She smiled sleepily when she got close enough to smell his cologne. For someone who smoked so often, he never smelled like it. Always clean and fresh and delicious. 

There was a fondness in his eyes when he looked at her, and it made her pound. This was a much different greeting than the last time. A real, genuine smile broke out on his face and he embraced her immediately, “Hi Paigey,” he sighed, holding her close to him. 

All her worries seemed to dissolve when he cradled her like that, his arms around her so tight; the absolute best hugger ever. On the outside they were just another couple greeting one another in a busy terminal. Were they friends? Were they lovers? Both? Dating? Unrequited? Star-crossed? Nobody, not even Paige and Alex knew. 

“Yeh smell good.” He murmured into her hair and she giggled.

“Was just thinking the same thing about you.”

He pulled back and looked at her long and hard, opening his mouth to say something then deciding against it and closing it with a frown. “Let’s go get yer fings, yeah?”

Alex rambled on during their walk to the baggage claim, talking about anything and everything. She knew that it was his attempt to fill an otherwise uncomfortable silence; he’d always been like that. It was oddly comforting, and she held onto his arm in a daze, wishing she’d known how warm it was going to be there this time of year.

“Jesus christ, it’s so fucking hot here!” She exclaimed once they made it outside. 

Alex chuckled, “Mooch different than Sheff m’afraid, love. Shoulda warned ya. Also a heat wave.”

“It’s gross but I also love it. I need to shed some layers.”

Alex carried her bags the entire way to his car while she peeled off her jumper and the long sleeve shirt beneath it so she was left in her tank and leggings. “Now yeh look like yeh belong ‘ere,” He smirked, opening the trunk of his car and hoisting her things inside.

“Can you point me to the nearest yoga studio for some bikram and a protein smoothie?” She faked her best valley girl accent, much to his amusement. 

“Ooh that ol’ english cynicism has claimed another one.” He slammed the trunk, leaning his palms against it. “Please tell meh yer ‘ungry, Paige because I haven’t eaten all night.”

“It’s after midnight, Alex! Why the fuck would you wait for me to eat?” She cried, climbing into the cushy leather passenger seat.

“Because I didn’t fink I’d be able to ‘andle In-N-Out twice today.”

“Oh my _god_ I forgot! We’re going!” 

On the way there, Alex told her all about the not-so-secret menu, explained what Animal Style meant, and what his favorites were. He was a sucker for a good milkshake, he always had been. She’d only been in Los Angeles for a little over an hour, but she’d already fallen in love with a greasy, delicious burger. Animal style.

“This is probably amazing after smoking a bowl,” Paige laughed with a mouthful of fries. She was sitting on a stool at the island in his kitchen, both of them scarfing down their food under a solitary lamplight. His house was cool. She’d seen photos before, but being there in the flesh was an experience. It was exactly the kind of home she dreamed about on the west coast. 

Alex had taken the lid off his strawberry shake and was prodding at the thick ice cream, trying to suck something through the straw. “Oh, it is. Weh’ve got plenty of time to experiment.”

Paige grinned at him, feeling at ease more now than before. Alex was still Alex and she was still Paige and that was beyond comforting; especially on new turf. Everything about him was how it’d always been, even the way he leaned his elbows on the counter and ate his burger with both hands. And especially the way he struggled with his cheeks hollowed when he sucked on the straw instead of waiting for the milkshake to melt. These were the things she knew about him that no one else did; the little quirks and mannerisms.

“You got an old chemistry book lying around? I could roll us a few joints like old times.”

Alex chuckled, coughing on his shake. “Now, now… there’s plenty of time for tha… yeh’ve gotta get some sleep, love.”

“Wuss.” She teased him, polishing off her burger and heading to the sink to wash her hands. “Also that was a joke. I am in no condition to smoke tonight anyways.”

“Bold of yeh to assume I even ‘ave weed ‘ere.”

She gave him a look over her shoulder, “Now I _know_ you’re lying.”

He loved the way she looked right now. She was barefoot and comfortable and her vest revealed a tattoo peeking out near her shoulder blade. He’d never seen it before. Unless it’d been there the last time they were together and he was too smitten with her to notice. She’d cut her hair to her shoulders not even a week ago, and it suited her. And there was so much light in her eyes despite how sleepy she looked. It was truly surreal seeing her standing there at his sink in his kitchen, so far from where they usually hung out. He wanted to kiss her. He’d wanted to kiss her at the airport, too. Almost told her how much he loved her. But he’d promised her he’d behave. 

“Guess where?” He challenged her, seeing if she could figure out where he kept it.

“That cookie jar right there.” She answered without skipping a beat, pointing at it on the counter. “Easy access from the kitchen, living room, and backyard.”

“Damn.”

She shrugged, “I know you.”

//

Downstairs, Alex had set up the guest room for her. It had once been Matt’s bedroom, but he was actually considering changing it into a recording studio of sorts; his guests were few and far between these days. Other than Paige, of course. 

“Erm… loo’s in ‘ere… and there’s towels and all tha if yeh need it,” He explained, flicking on the lights to the ensuite bathroom. “Fink I got the reyt stuff that yeh like…” He chuckled at himself, “and if not… well… it were the thought that counts.”

Paige just grinned at him, “Whatever you got is perfect. Thank you.”

He showed her where all the lights were and where she could put her things, and then came an absurdly awkward goodnight. 

“Night Paigey…” He hummed, as he stood there, the two of them staring at one another like they’d suddenly forgotten who the other was. “…erm big day tomorrow…” 

“Huge.” She nodded in agreeance. 

“Get some sleep, love.”

She nodded again, biting back tears. It was the first time in history where he didn’t ask her to share a bed. And it was weird. “Suppose you can’t do that sort of thing when you’ve slept with your best friend, confessed your love to one another, then pushed him away.” She told herself softly once he’d left the room and was upstairs above her in his own. “That’s your fault, Paige.” She frowned at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, swallowing the lump in her throat as she rinsed off her face and patted it dry. “You pushed him away and now you’re sulking about it.”

//

She laid awake in the guest room that night staring at the ceiling and the way the lights in the pool cast weird shapes on her ceiling. Even though she was exhausted, her mind wouldn’t shut the fuck up. He had promised her three weeks ago that he would be on his best behavior, and it seemed like he was taking that seriously. She didn’t like it. She wanted _her_ Alex; her best friend. Best friend Alex snuggled with her and tangled his legs with hers and breathed softly on her when he slept. Best friend Alex would’ve never let her sleep alone. 

“You can’t have it both ways, Paige.”

By two am, she was delirious enough that her stupid brain couldn’t fight off what her heart so badly wanted. Throwing her covers off, she crept up the stairs in the dark, past the kitchen to Alex’s room. The door was cracked, and the slider to the patio was opened for a cool cross-breeze with the windows above his bed. The curtains rustled, and Alex was fast asleep in the middle. There was no hesitation as she tip-toed across the wood floor and crawled on the ledge to the platform bed. Lifting the blankets, she slid under and backed herself up against his chest. 

Alex stirred, instinctively sliding his arms around her waist. “Mmm… everyfing alreyt, love?” He drawled slowly, his accent thick with sleep. His breath tickled her neck, his nose buried in her hair. 

He felt like home.

“Couldn’t sleep.” She whispered, feeling his legs tangle with hers.

“I’ve got yeh now,” he murmured, his lips just barely grazing the back of her neck. “Get some sleep, Paigey.”

She was out cold before he could even finish the sentence. 

//

Paige woke up to an empty bed, the room still and silent, save for the birds outside the opened window. She turned and reached her hand out to where there was an indentation of his body and it was still warm; he must’ve only just woken up. A second later she heard the shower turn on. Lying there staring at the sun as it filtered through the shades, she realized they hadn’t had a chance to talk yet; not about anything real anyways. It had been silly jokes and reminiscing the night before on the drive back to his house from LAX with that pit stop at In & Out. Normal stuff. The kind of stuff you did with a friend you hadn’t seen in awhile, but not your best friend. The one you had sex with. The one that you were madly in love with. Granted, midnight confessions about deep, emotional feelings were generally ill-advised, but she didn’t know where they stood, and she hadn’t seen Alex in months, and the only thing she wanted was to be around him. She wanted him. 

With a deep breath, she entered the bathroom where the steam had already fogged up the mirror and the glass shower walls. Alex was standing under the spray; palms pressed against the tile with his head down letting the hot water rush over him. Paige couldn’t help but watch him for a moment, trying not to think. Thinking made things worse. She watched the way the water cascaded over the muscles in his shoulders and down his cute little butt. She groaned softly thinking about the way he’d felt when he was inside her… how he held her… how he was so gentle with her; only rough when she begged for it. Her t-shirt was sliding over her head and she was opening the shower door before she even knew what she was doing. 

The echoing sound of the door clicking shut made Alex lift his head, well and truly stunned to see Paige standing in there with him. It occurred to him then that he hadn’t seen her naked since that weekend back in Sheffield, and he certainly didn’t think that seeing her naked again would happen like this, if ever. But here they were; naked and wet and sleepily staring at one another.

“Paige…?” Alex’s eyes were soft and warm, but they were tired. The bluish rings beneath them so prominent. She knew they were on account of her, and she wanted to kiss them, make them go away.

She didn’t have a plan because her heart was calling the shots. “There are… a lot of things I want to say to you… but… I don’t know exactly how to say those things yet.”

Alex looked at her curiously, beads of water running down his neck and the sharp slope of his nose and eyelashes. He looked so soft and sunny in the warm morning light, and she couldn’t take it any longer. She closed the small space between them, her arms slipping under his; her palms pressing against his shoulder blades. Paige’s head tucked beneath his chin, her body a perfect match for his own. Always had been. Like they’d been made for one another. Alex closed his eyes, exhaling a breath he’d been holding since forever. 

“I’m gonna kiss you.” She told him, her lips at his ear. Alex pulled back slightly until their noses were brushing and her lips were kissing at his. “I missed you,” She breathed, feeling his hands on her back, his cock stirring against her lower stomach. She knew he couldn’t help it. She couldn’t either. She’d lied to herself for months on end about not missing his touch; but she’d craved it the moment he’d climbed into that van in Sheffield months ago. “Did you miss me, too?”

“So much…” Alex whispered, lost in the way her soft lips kissed gently at the corners of his mouth. He’d been so tired for so many months now, that he couldn’t decipher if this was a dream or reality. 

Paige took his hand and placed it on her breast; his groans against her mouth making her whole body electric. She kissed him harder with more intensity; the feelings she’d repressed finally bubbling to the surface. She clung to him, her fingers in his hair and on his neck, rising up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheeks and chin and his mouth once more. 

“I have a confession,” she breathed, the heat and desire of his gaze on her so intense. “I don’t want to behave.”

Alex grabbed her hips, Paige’s breath hitching as he spun her so her breasts were pressed against the tile. What started as a simple ‘I miss you’ kiss had escalated to Alex’s fingers between her legs, spreading her open to circle her clit while he brushed kisses down her spine and across her shoulders with his wet lips. Her knees buckled when he slipped his fingers inside, pressing himself against her as she rolled her hips. Alex stroked himself until he was completely hard and wedged between the cheeks of her ass. She whimpered when he spread her legs and entered her from behind. It all happened in a blur, but she’d never felt so fucking good.

//

How was it that the same goons she grew up with back in Sheffield were nominated for a Grammy? And when had things changed so much that they were actually dressed up and attending the ceremony? She used to hang out at their gigs where there was no backstage area, and the clubs were so tiny that when the band was deep into their set it felt like you were going to die from suffocation. And now she was wearing a dress that she’d scored on a sale rack back home; in a pair of heels she’d only ever worn once, walking the red carpet in LA. It was so surreal. In fact every second of her time in La La Land since her plane had touched down was surreal. Considering the events of her morning, she was surprised at how well she managed to stay present while she hung back on the red carpet as the boys were photographed and interviewed. She certainly had no business rubbing elbows with the people of Grammy-worthy caliber in her discount dress, so she didn’t even attempt to keep up.

“Are you nervous?” She asked Alex as they walked past photographers and people she’d only ever heard on the radio or seen on tv. 

Alex squeezed her hip tighter, hugging her close. “Not wiv you ‘ere.”

Paige smiled at that, doing her best to keep up in her heels. “Can you slow down a bit, Al… I’m not used to walking in these kinds of shoes on plush carpet.” 

“Of course, love…” Alex slowed his pace, as desperate as he was to finally get inside the building. Paige stopped altogether, gripping his bicep tight as she adjusted the strap on the ankle of her shoe. He watched her with adoration, a feeling he couldn’t quite explain fluttering in his stomach. Well, it was love, he knew that, but he didn’t have the ability to put into words the exact way she made him feel. She put him at ease, even when she was teasing him, and even if she hadn’t said it again since that day; he knew she loved him, too.

“There!” She exclaimed, her hazel eyes bright as she straightened up, smoothing out her dress at the hips. “Sorry about that… I can’t remember the last time I dressed up like this.” Paige waited for a response, but Alex was smiling at her with the goofiest, most adorable, lovesick expression and she felt her stomach tighten, her heart racing. “C’mon, Al… let’s get going… we might miss your award!”

His eyebrows lifted every-so-slightly, the tiniest smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Did I tell yeh ‘ow gorgeous yeh look tonight?”

Paige’s cheeks burned, well aware that there were quite a lot of people around them. “ _Yes_. You did. Several times actually.”

“Well can’t I tell yeh once more?” He slid his arm around her back again and hugged her close. “Won’t kiss yeh ‘ere because I know yeh won’t like it… but I’m joost letting yeh know I want to. Very, very badly.”

She was entranced by the way he looked at her, his soft, gentle eyes truly seeing her and only her. He set her entire body on fire, and she wondered if he’d always had the ability or if it was newly acquired.

She poked his ribs through his cool blue suit, “You’re gonna get yourself in trouble, Al.” 

“Counting on it, love.”

//

“And now, we drink!” Someone yelled when the ceremony had nearly finished and the gang were making their way backstage through the Staples Center to their cars to pregame before the after parties began. As it turned out, their award wasn’t even televised, so they didn’t really need to attend. They also didn’t win. But they still made the most of it. Alex seemed to come alive now that they were free, sauntering alongside Paige, a protective arm slung round her back.

And Paige… Paige was a mess. Once the distraction of the awards was over, and she no longer had to keep up appearances, she allowed her mind to drift; a few glasses of champagne in her system and the memory of the shower came back.

She squeezed her legs tight together as she thought about the way he’d cum inside her that morning, his hand over hers against the wall and his arm around her waist as he collapsed against her. And she thought about the way he pulled out, leaking all down her legs before he took her again, this time with her back to the wall and her leg slung over his hip. It was the perfect mixture of tenderness, longing and satisfaction, even though she was quite positive she’d never been fucked that good in her life.

_“Like tha, love?” Alex drawled slow and sexy against her ear, his arms straining to keep them both standing._

_Paige nodded, her face buried in his neck, her arms clinging to him so tight. “You feel so good…” She whimpered as he lifted her thigh higher, angling her hips to get a little deeper. She squeezed her pussy around him, feeling his cock throbbing inside her._

_“Fookin’… ‘ell, Paige…” He growled, driving into her harder._

_“Make me cum again,” she pleaded, her fingers twisting into his wet hair. There was no teasing, no slow-burn; just the desperate hunger for one another. “Please, baby, please…”_

_“Hold onto me,” Alex murmured gruffly, and Paige tightened her grip, clinging to him as he took one hand off the wall and wedged it between their bodies. She gasped, her hips jerking when his fingers slid over her swollen clit._

_“Don’t stop,” she moaned, eyes drifting closed; fire pooling in her abdomen as he fucked her deeper._

_Alex pressed his forehead against hers, some kind of carnal desire possessing him, “Yer so fookin’ tight, Paige… love… I want yeh… cum on my cock, babeh… cum for meh… wanna feel it…”_

_Paige’s entire body went still, everything except for the walls of her pussy as it pulsed around his cock. With his hand still between their bodies, Alex pressed his hips hard against hers, until her ass was flush with the wall, driving his cock into her as he lost the rhythm._

_He filled her up for the second time that morning; repeating her name like it was some kind of anthem. His hand went limp, drifting from between her legs to her hip. He kissed the tops of her shoulders and her collarbone and her breasts as he sank to his knees. Paige’s legs felt weak, even more so with him kneeling in front of her. She looked down her body at him, the top of his head dark and slick from the water. His eyes were closed, kissing her abdomen just above the thatch of hair at the apex of her thighs. He was so tender and gentle, and he still knew her better than anyone else. He knew what she liked and how to make her feel good._

In the limo, Nick was shakily pouring drinks over ice and passing them around to each of them… and Paige was still lost in her reverie. She had been _so_ good earlier, but now that she was drinking she couldn’t stop. There was no way they could skip the party, so she’d have to suffer until the moment they were alone again. 

Alex laughed with the guys, taking the piss out of the absurdity of award shows; no matter how high the “honor” was of winning a Grammy. He felt good. Great even. It was probably false confidence that had him behaving the way he was now with Paige, but everything that had transpired that day felt like she was all in. They hadn’t talked… they needed to, and as stupid as it was, Alex leaned into it. This was exactly what he wanted. He wanted Paige. He wanted mornings like that always, and he wanted to make her breakfast and take her to stupid award shows like this if they ever attended another one again. And he wanted her backstage at his shows, and he wanted to be the first to read her book when it was finished, and exchange ideas about writing. He wanted to be there for her in every little thing she did. And today, he had the smallest glimmer of hope that she wanted that, too.

In the darkness of the car, he slid his hand over her knee to the inside of her thigh; a move he assumed no one in the car could see. He was absolutely wrong about that, but the other guys didn’t care. It had always been Alex and Paige and it would be that way forever and always.

“Yer unusually quiet over here,” He leaned in, their noses almost touching. 

“Am I?” She nearly squeaked, feeling like an absolute idiot. 

“Yesss…” he chuckled, “Are y’alreyt?”

“Of course.” She pipped, sipping her drink as he watched her curiously, his eyebrow arched. 

“Yer up teh summat, Paigey. I know that look.”

Paige slipped her hand over his when he squeezed her thigh again, “I can _not_ handle that right now,” she breathed a little laugh, anxious now that her entire body was wound tight as a bow. She’d tortured herself and now she was suffering immensely.

Alex noticed the color in her cheeks, and the way her eyelashes fluttered and the quickening of her pulse. He recognized that reaction. He took it easy on her and laced their fingers together instead, placing their hands between them instead of on her lap. “I’ve been thinkin’ about this mornin’, too…” he whispered conspiratorially, a devilish look in his eyes. 

She looked up at him, thinking the tension and nerves had been from the awards; but it was all a feeble attempt at stop himself from letting his mind wander.

“Weh’ve got a long night ahead of us m’afraid.”

“I know…” she hissed, a scowl on her pretty lips. A moment later the two of them burst into laughter. 

“Secrets, secrets are no fun…” Matt sing-songed, wondering what it was exactly that had transpired between the two of them since Paige’s arrival last night.

“Fuck off, Helders,” Paige shot him a playful glare. 

“Just havin’ a laugh with me best mate, Maffew; don’t get jealous.”

Paige slid her thumb back and forth over his, knowing full well they’d have discuss what they were and what they were doing sooner or later.

_When they were satisfied, they giggled their way through a proper shower, taking turns beneath the spray until Alex had enough and stood as tight behind her as he could. She laughed at the way he kissed her neck and teased her; his soapy hands slipping all over. By the time they were done, their fingers were pruny and Paige was ready for breakfast and a nap. Alex held up a towel for her and she wrapped it around her chest as he tucked his around his waist. It was intimate. Hot, but intimate._

_“I didn’t fink yeh’d want meh in yer bed,” Alex suddenly blurted; answering the question that he knew kept her up last night before igniting enough fire in her to go to him. “Didn’t know what yeh wanted meh teh do after we last left fings.”_

_“That was the first time you didn’t ask to sleep with me.”_

_“I was on me best behavior.”_

_“Blew that, didn’t we?”_

_Alex smiled, wondering what happened next. That was definitely not what best friends did._

_“I didn’t know I wanted this.” She confessed, standing opposite him on the bath mat._

_Alex didn’t say anything in response. He_ had _wanted this. He’d wanted it since long before she’d pushed him away._

_Paige misinterpreted the silence. “I didn’t know for sure. Until I was here.”_

_“Wot changed your mind?”_

_And without missing a beat, she replied, “My heart.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! You can also [find me on Tumblr](https://hearteyesturner.tumblr.com/).


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